EXTREME CELEBRITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING (ECCW)

WHOREMAGEDDON

BY DARK CLOUD

This mega show gets started with a run down of tonight’s card, highlighting the combatants, the matches and the stipulations and by the time it has finished there can be little doubt this will be an important, high risk night for the combatants of the Federation. None more so than the two contestants of the opening bout, the battle for the Junior Heavyweight Championship between champion Emma Watson and challenger Sarah Hyland. This will be the culmination of their feud over this belt and comes with two killer stips. Firstly the belt will be hung high above the ring and to retrieve it someone will have to use one of the three step ladders set up in the entrance way at the bottom of the entrance ramp. The second stipulation is arguably even more severe as the loser of this feud ender will be led away from the arena in handcuffs to a secure location in the city where three men taken from the sex offenders register are waiting to begin 24 hours of fun with the loser in a locked safety room. This stipulation was suggested by Emma’s leader, Elizabeth Hurley and Emma had at first been reticent but eventually unable to go against Elizabeth’s demands meanwhile Sarah had had to agree to it just to get her title shot confirmed.

And so it is an extremely tense (and sexy) looking Sarah Hyland strolls down the ramp to start the card. She’s in a tiny black, two piece string bikini and as well as the stipulation she has to handle the fact that she will have no back up in this match as her two Modern Family colleagues, Sofia Vergara and Julie Bowen have fallen out with each other and are due to battle themselves later in the card. Fortunately Miss Hurley and her other protégé, Keira Knightley have been barred from ringside so this should be a straight out battle between these two lithe nymphs.

Emma emerges looking deadly serious in a sexy, red two piece bikini. There’s no title belt strapped around her slim waist, however, as it is suspending by a wire over the centre of the ring. Her eyes bore into the challengers as she stalks to the ring, passing the ladders set up as she goes and as Sarah come to the near side ropes to glower back at her, Emma stops and climbs up the nearest ladder to the ring to be at the same level to match the stare. In a flash, Sarah leaps athletically up to the top rope and springboards up and over to clothesline Emma off the ladder and send both girls crashing to the floor!

The referee signals for the bell and this title match is off to a hell of a start! Both combatants lie on the concrete floor in a mangle of limbs and ladder but it is clearly Emma that’s come off worst as Sarah drags herself to her feet and positively flings a second ladder under the ropes and clambers in after it while Miss Watson groans and slowly tries to untangle her leg from the ladder.

In the ring with a rush of adrenaline Sarah hurries to set up the ladder under the hanging belt and god knows she wants to get the win as quickly as possible so she starts to climb it as Emma is still getting up. Sarah makes it up to the third step from the top before realising that she’s a little too far to the left of the belt and rather than adjust it she goes up another step and stretches over just as Emma rolls into the ring and desperately throws herself at the ladder. For a brief moment it looks as if there wasn’t enough force in her block as Sarah wobbles atop the ladder then it plummets over and Sarah crashes down throat first on the far side top ring rope. She bounces back and lands besides the crashed ladder in centre ring as Emma wipes her lip and pulls herself up to the vertical.

Even this early in the contest both girls have taken a major bump apiece and are looking beaten down. Emma has a vicious grin as she moves over to her foe and simply removes Sarah’s tiny bikini top revealing her pert little titties to the crowd and the camera, then she hauls Sarah up to a sitting position by her long hair before wrapping the bikini top around her throat like a garrotte and choking the hell out of her! It’s all perfectly legal as in a ladder match it’s all down to who gets that belt first and nothing else. You would scarcely believe how twisted and nasty Emma Watson’s face is as she hauls on both ends of her makeshift garrotte while Sarah’s face turns a deep shade of scarlet and she flaps her arms and legs wildly trying to escape this death hold. Finally Emma drags her foe backwards by the choke and goes to tie the bikini ends to the middle rope while still around Sarah’s neck. A couple of stamps to Sarah’s gut completed Emma’s intentions and she set off to pick up the ladder in the ring and carefully set it right under her hanging title belt.

Sarah was in the perfect position on her ass looking forward to watch as Emma stepped onto the bottom rung and began to ascend and the American beauty knew all too well what it would mean if she got all the way up. With a burst of desperate strength Sarah lunged forward and it turned out that Emma couldn’t tie much of a knot as the bikini top fell easily away and with Emma up to the fourth rung Sarah had made it to her feet and moved forward to drive a hard forearm into her elevated foe’s lower back. That halted her progress and a second shot ended it before Sarah hooked her head under Emma’s armpit and levered her up before dropping her in a high impact back suplex that slammed both babes to the canvas.

The topless Miss Hyland was up first and proceeded to drag Emma up by her arm then whip her into the ropes and upon her return journey Sarah nailed her with a drop toe hold that sent the English girl flying face first into the lower rungs of the ladder. The impact sent the ladder spiralling into a corner and created a nasty cut at Emma’s right eye from which blood immediately began to drip from. Sarah moved to the ladder and drew it together and leaned it standing up in the corner before picking Emma up and whipping her face first into the metal object as fast as she could. Skull met metal rung with a an almighty crash and Sarah stepped back and left Emma lying on the ladder which eventually fell back, took Emma with it and both babe and ladder crashed to the canvas together with Emma under the metal frame. And so with her opponent in that position Sarah jumped to the top turnbuckle and nailed the top of the ladder with a daredevil like splash that clearly hurt herself but also drove the ladder down and into her opponent as well.

Sarah rolled from the ring and stalked over to another ladder and heaved it up and slid it under the bottom rope. By the time Sarah was in the ring and had picked up the second ladder Emma had recovered enough to pull the ladder off her but that was all and all that did was leave her exposed as Sarah lined the second ladder up then let it fall, landing right on the English actresses face with a loud crash. Sarah kicked away the first ladder the picked up the second and placed it standing up right over her foes body, the bottom rung pressing slightly into Emma’s throat. Once she was sure it was steady Sarah began to slowly climb up towards the belt she had been after now for months. As she climbed nearer and nearer her goal Sarah felt more and more elated. She was going to do it. She was going to do it. She was…falling to her side then crashing hard on her arm and hip and lying motionless. Emma had managed to get both arms onto the rung across her throat and, driven by desperation she had managed to tip the ladder to the side and send her foe smashing to the canvas. Emma dragged herself up and folded the ladder up then as Sarah looked up Emma hurled the ladder at her cracking her in the face. Sarah howled and lay there which prompted Emma to hit the ropes and nail a baseball slide into the ladder which again smacked into Sarah and this time sent her flying out of the ring under the bottom rope.

The crowd booed this twist of fate and Emma flipped them the middle finger before stepping between the ropes and dropping to the floor herself. She busied herself balancing a ladder on the edge of the apron across to the metal crowd barrier. Then she pulled Sarah up by her hair and then pulled her up so that both girls stood on the apron outside the ropes and Emma punched Sarah in the gut and once she was doubled over Emma stepped around her head and hooked her for a powerbomb onto the ladder! But through a self preservation instinct Sarah grabbed the ropes as Emma tried to lift her and when she couldn’t get Sarah up Sarah powered up herself and back dropped Emma right onto the precariously perched ladder!

The crashing sound of bone on metal was matched seconds later as both girls slumped off the ladder to the hard concrete floor with a solid thud. Both babes were down on the floor recovering but Sarah was by far the more conscious and while her body regained it’s strength she took the chance to untie her opponent’s bikini top and toss it aside, leaving both girls now topless. The crowd was really into this high impact opener by now and they raised the noise level even further as Sarah got up and dragged Emma up by her short hair before slipping behind her and snaring her in a full nelson to fully display the young Englishwoman’s full breasts. Then Sarah ran forward and smashed Emma into the corner post face first. Sarah held her there sandwiched between her and the post before grabbing Emma’s arm then viciously Irish whipping her back the way they had come so that the ladder that was bridging the ring and the crowd barrier stopped Emma dead, doubling her over it and again making a hell of a noise.

Sarah was all motion now and nimbly leapt up to the apron again, ran along it before jumping up and crashing down on the dangling Miss Watson with a huge legdrop that seesawed Emma up and flipped her over the ladder and smack onto her back at ringside. Sarah got up and punched the air at the move and got a rousing cheer in response. Sarah looked like all she had to do was hop back into the ring and ascend one of the ladders in there and she would be the new champion but the crowd was urging her on to further incapacitate Emma Watson first. Case in point the fan holding out a chair and urging her to take it to use on the Harry Potter slut. Sarah moved towards the outstretched chair but as she got there it was pulled back and the hand that came out held an aerosol that was sprayed fully into Sarah Hyland’s unsuspecting face. From her reaction it was clearly pepper spray or mace or some other similar substance! The camera zoomed in on the scene and revealed a slim figure in a long, leather trenchcoat, wearing sunglasses holding the spray can. As security moved in she removed the shades and smirked and revelled the pouting face of Victoria Beckham, surely the latest recruit to Elizabeth Hurley’s Posh Harem.

With the place in turmoil as a gaggle of security men manhandled (and groped) Mrs Beckham out of the arena, Emma Watson slowly got to her feet while Sarah clawed manically at her face. This meant she was unable to see Miss Watson, steady herself then unleash a vicious superkick that connected perfectly with Miss Hyland’s chin and dropped her like a stone to the concrete. As the crowd voiced their disapproval Emma took her time peeling off her foe’s skimpy panties and leaving her completely nude before she dragged her to her feet and delivered a hard Irish whip into the crowd barrier where Sarah was left draped as Emma turned back to the ladder beside her. She picked it up from it’s perch, hefted it to her shoulder and then used it like a battering ram as she ran at a helpless Sarah and slammed it into the cutie’s face.

The impact sent Sarah flipping backwards over the crowd barrier and into the crowd where, despite their support of her, many of the patrons copped a good feel of her nubile young body. Emma stood for a moment contemplating entering the ring and going after the belt but a wicked grin indicated she wanted more punishment for her opponent first and she hopped the rail and knelt over a now bleeding Sarah Hyland and rained in punch after punch to her defenceless face. By the time the nearest cameraman was in to the thick of the action Sarah’s face was bleeding pretty heavily and Emma was looking up with blood on her knuckles and a triumphant grin on her face. But as she got up to head back to the ring, just as she went to step over the rail Sarah brought her hands up and grabbed Emma’s ankle, tripping her up as she went. It was hardly damaging but did manage to delay Miss Watson’s return to the ring to where by the time she rolled under the bottom rope Sarah was weakly clambering up the barrier as her blood soaked hair fell over her face.

It was a race now as Emma concentrated fully on climbing up to get her belt. She lifted then steadied one of the ladders in the ring then began to climb up just as Sarah slid under the bottom rope and crawled towards her. Emma was nearly at the top and getting ready to reach up to try for the belt when Sarah managed to grab her ankle again and this time when she pulled Emma fell backwards and landed hard on her back in the ring with the ladder staying upright. With Emma down Sarah swept her bloody hair from her eyes and slowly began to ascend the ladder herself, she knew that she could not manage much more of this, the blood loss and beating had weakened her and she mustered her strength and pulled herself up rung by rung.

However, just as Sarah had made the top Emma was back on her feet and with an evil chuckle she grabbed the ladder and pushed it over to the side just as Sarah had her arms reaching up. Sarah Hyland flew through the air and for one awful moment looked like she would take a horrendous bump from the top of the ladder in the ring all the way to the hard, concrete floor. Fortunately (or perhaps not) her foot managed to snag the top rope and then wound around the second rope halting her progress and leaving her hanging on the outside of the ring by just her ankle. Emma could have climbed up the ladder then but rather she slipped out of the ring, made sure that Sarah’s foot was stuck tightly then lifted a steel chair. She peered down into her opponent’s bleeding semi conscious face and leered.

“Have fun with the rapists bitch, I hope they tear you some new holes!”

And then Emma swung the chair like a baseball bat into Sarah’s unguarded face, then again, then a further four more times until Sarah Hyland hung by her foot quite clearly unconscious. From there it was simplicity itself for Emma Watson to right a ladder and climb it and undo her championship belt and lift it aloft as the bell rung to signal the end of the contest.

Your winner, and still Junior Heavyweight Champion, in 17:51 is EMMA WATSON.

Wow! Sarah Hyland has just lost the biggest match of her young career. Not only has she failed to get the championship but now she will have to face up to that terrible forfeit. Instead of medical personnel come to tend to her wounds four large, burly security personnel descended the ramp to ensure the stipulation was adhered to. They needn’t have worried yet, Sarah was still out of it as Emma casually undid her ankle from the rope and allowed her to plummet hard to the floor. The security team surrounded her and one knelt down and easily pulled Sarah’s wrists behind her back and handcuffed them there. She was very slowly coming round and by the time they had got her to her feet and slowly began leading her, naked, up the ramp she was beginning to realise what had happened and what that meant for her. Emma Watson accompanied her up the ramp standing in front of Sarah as the guards pulled her along and Emma made sure to lift the belt in her face and goad her about what awaited her. With her face a bloody mess it was hard to tell but Sarah was crying like a little child as she was dragged through the curtain and backstage.

The camera stayed with her as she was led through the arena and to the garage and into a car and driven away. The camera changed to the unit at the house she was being driven to and we saw three men enter. All three were togged out in bright orange jumpsuits, even though all three had recently been released from incarceration. One was large, black and muscular, one was a skinheaded white with tattoos all over him and the third was a long haired Mexican. All were hardened criminalS and ex cons and all three were waiting for 24 hours with a handcuffed Sarah Hyland.

The car arrived shortly after and a by now bawling and howling Sarah was dragged out of it and led over to the door into the safe house and literally forced into it then a large padlock was snapped shut and the rest would have to be left to the viewers imagination…

*

Back in the arena while we’ve been watching the plight of poor little Sarah Hyland the next match has already got underway. A Fatal Fourway with the prize for the winners a World Tag Team Title shot at the next PPV.

In the ring at the moment are newcomer Miley Cyrus and Mila Kunis and the two bitches are going at it fast and hard, criss crossing on the ropes until Miley trips Mila, mounts her back, slaps the back of her head a few times and the pulls her up and delivers a snap suplex in the middle of the ring. Miely was bedecked in a stunning one piece white bikini and looked a million dollars as she grabbed Mila by her ankle and dragged her to her corner and tagged in her partner in TRAILER PARK TRASH, Britney Spears.

Somehow Mila srambled across the ring and tagged in Jessica Alba but as she entered she got a boot to her gut and another fast tag to Miley Cyrus who leapt into the ring and bodyslammed her older opponent to the mat.

The Jessica’s (Alba and Biel) seemed to have lost a bit of confidence since their last PPV outing, a crushing defeat and subsequent sexual humiliation at the hands of the champions Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox, and they are tentative whereas Britney and Miley and moving and working like they haven’t a care in the world. Miley spears Alba almost in two in centre ring and would have surely got a three count if Keira Knightly (at Liz Hurley’s prompting) hadn’t dived in and shoved her off the cover. In the ensuing chaos Alba tagged in Biel but she was hit by a Miley Cyrus dropkick, and that led into a tag to Miss Spears who Irish whipped the dazed Biel then slammed in behind it with a fast Avalanche followed by a bulldog headlock that drove Jessica’s classical features right into the canvas. And again it was Keira that broke up the subsequent pinfall attempt, this time though Britney grabbed Biel and slapped her hand into Keira then grabbed Keira by her hair and hauled her over the top rope and into the ring.

“You want in here so much skinny, then get the fuck in here!”

Elizabeth Hurley watched impassively as Britney then tore her partner and minion to shreds, a series of three hard clotheslines followed by three suplex’s then a Death Valley Driver in centre ring before ascending the corner turnbuckle and nailing a hard elbowdrop right to Keira’s sternum. This still brought not a reaction to Miss Hurley’s façade which enraged Britney to the point that she ignored the cover opportunity to go over and talk trash at the posh Englishwoman. As this was going only Keira rolled to the edge of the ring and blindly reached up and tagged in Mila Kunis who leapt over the top rope and as Britney turned around nailed her with a flying headscissors that sent Miss Spears spinning out of the ring. Mila nimbly jumped up to the top turnbuckle and nailed Britney with a flying plancha dive that sent both females crashing to the floor.

With the crowd cheering their approval Mila hauled the dirty blonde to her feet and rolled her back in the ring before hopping up to the ring apron then springboarding off but missing with a top rope legdrop that left both Kunis and Spears down on their back on the canvas as the referee began to count them down.

Both winded babes slowly crawled to the nearest outstretched hand and it was Mila that hit flesh fist, tagging in Jessica Biel who rushed in and stomped Britney’s back before she could tag in Miley. Miss Biel looked to have recovered, both physically and mentally and went on to throw Miss Spears about like a rag doll; Irish whipping her into a corner then running in behind with an Avalanche splash, then a bulldog headlock, then pulling her up to body slam followed by a big legdrop that got a very close two count. Britney was then whipped to the ropes and desperately she reached out and tagged in a not paying attention Keira. Britney dropped to the canvas and rolled out of the ring while Keira turned around trying to figure out what had happened when she was caught by a Biel dropkick that sent her flying off the apron and slamming to ringside.

On the apron Katie Holmes was calling for a tag and Biel made it and in a flash Holmes had leapt to the top turnbuckle and as Miss Knightly turned around Katie flew off and turned her inside out with a flying clothesline to the outside to a huge roar from the crowd. At that all hell broke out. Liz Hurley jumped onto the downed Holmes, Mila Kunis piled in to help her partner, Cyrus and Spears ran around to lay in some licks while Alba bent and tried to revive Biel.

Amidst the wild skirmish Mila Kunis grabbed Keira Knightley by the hair and threw her back in the ring beneath the bottom rope, however, as Mila reached up to enter the ring herself Miley Cyrus stretched her own hand up from the apron and slapped it, tagging herself in much to Mila’s consternation. But as she went to remonstrate Britney Spears grabbed her ankle from below and hauled her off the ring leaving just Miley standing over a dazed Keira. Here Miley showed a vicious side hitherto unseen, lifting Keira up so she was bent over and hammering a series of hard knees to the English girls face, before hooking her arm around Keira’s neck, jumping up to gain leverage off the middle rope then dropping straight back down with a spine shortening DDT that garnered her a three count while the rest battled at ringside.

So the debutant tag team of Britney and Miley have a World Tag Team Championship match to look forward to at the next PPV and both trashy blondes are soon celebrating drinking before they have even left through the entrance curtain.

Your winners in 9:19 are MILEY CYRUS & BRITNEY SPEARS.
*

Eliza Dushku stares unblinkingly into the camera. It is frankly unnerving as the camera slowly pans backwards and shows Lindsay Lohan standing beside her holding a microphone and looking a little unsettled. That only intensifies when Eliza snatches the mic from her hand and snarls into it.

“Alyson, everyone always knew you were Sarah’s little slut. Always have been, riding her coattails for whatever you could get. Well what it’s got you this time is trouble red. A whole bundle of trouble. I’m going to send your bitch of a friend a message in our fight, first I’ll destroy you then I’m coming for her- and this time I’ll get her!”

With that she slammed the microphone to the floor and stormed off.

As the camera followed Eliza’s dramatic exit it also captured the grand entrance to the building of the Diva Jennifer Lopez and her long entourage. The Latino singer looks amazing with a long bejewelled sparkling robe, she flashes an insincere smile at the camera then disappears further backstage and you can hear her giving some underling hell as the camera fades to black and comes back to the ringside area.

*

Both combatants in the next match have their thoughts somewhat with the loser of the opening contest, Sarah Hyland, who right then had a cock buried in her pussy, one rammed in her asshole and was gagging on a third one. But neither Sofia Vergara nor Julie Bowen could afford to dwell on Sarah’s plight as they were about to get in the ring together and let rip years of built up jealousy and anger. Blonde Julie had always been jealous of Sofia’s amazing hourglass like figure and curves. It always cut her that the younger woman garnered far more attention than her. Sofia was not so jealous but never liked the snide way Julie spoke to and about her and envied her command of the English language and high IQ. They had kept the peace and even been on the same team for the start of this catfighting promotion but at the last PPV Julie had had enough and turned on her colleague, smashing her with a steel chair and allowing Sofia’s hated rival Elizabeth Hurley to humiliatingly smother the Colombian out in her own manoeuvre, the breast smother.

Julie is out first and stalks to the ring wearing a sky blue two piece bikini and sporting a scowl at the fans who booed her, unhappy at her betrayal. As soon as the Latino beat hits Sofia charges through the curtains and races to the ring. She’s wearing a bright yellow two piece string bikini and her tits are bouncing all over the place as she runs. She slides under the bottom rope and doesn’t slow down as she launches herself at Julie and wails away with wild punches and slaps. The ref quickly signals for the bell and this contest is off to a fast start. Sofia has completely lost control and is lashing in blows at a hell of a rate though whether they are actually very effective blows is of some debate. Julie looks stunned by this whirlwind start and is clearly looking to escape from the ring but Sofia has a tight hold of her blonde locks and is firing in more hard slaps to her face, half landing and half missing. In near desperation Julie Bowen reached up and clawed her fingers in her mad opponents face, catching the Columbian’s eyes and forcing a separation. As Sofia pawed at her injured face Julie dropped exhausted to her knees then seeing an opportunity drove and uppercut right between her unsuspecting foes’ thighs and smashing it into her womanhood!

That seemed to knock some of the fire from Sofia and Julie smirked as her opponent groped at her injured crotch and slow motion dropped to her knees, a pained expression on her face. She was the perfect height then to be hit with a series of dismissive yet stinging slaps to either cheek before Julie backed up then ran forward and drove the sole of her wrestling boot right into Sofia’s face and she fell backwards onto the mat. A pin and a two count followed in short order. Julie pushed her forearm into Sofia’s face and ground it in there, rubbing it back and forth and smiling as the noises of pain it generated from her rival. Eventually tiring of that tactic she dragged Sofia up by her long, dark hair and used the Latino’s pants to propel her head first between the ropes and crashing to the floor in an untidy mess. Julie gave a mock bow to the chorus of boos she received for this.

Her next move was to step through the ropes herself and carefully position herself above her rival as she got unsteadily to her feet only to drop down with an elbow to the top of her head just as Sofia had made it to her feet. From there Julie dragged Sofia by her hair to the nearest corner post and lifted her up, pulled back her head and went to smack her face first into the steel pole. The Columbian got her hands up though and blocked the move, in a flash she lifted her hand from the pole, grabbed the blonde’s head and rammed it into the unforgiving metal instead. Then she did it another five times, by the time of the sixth solid connection, Julie had a cut above her left eye that was spilling blood down that side of her face and dropped to her knees stunned outside the ring.

The crowd loved this turn around and cheered Sofia on as she dragged Julie up by her reddening hair, then took a hold and ran forward to deliver a devastating bulldog headlock on the concrete, just splattering Julie’s face on the unforgiving concrete!

Sofia picked her former colleague up and rolled her back into the ring before following her in with a look of grim determination painted on her face. Julie had a glazed look on her face and was clearly stunned as her Latino foe dropped onto her chest straddled it the lifted the blonde’s face up and buried it in her copious cleavage. Too late Bowen realised her plight and began to struggle her hands and arms to try to escape but to no avail and within a minute those self same hands went limp and they were equally limp as the referee lifted them three times to signal the end of the match.

Sofia sneers as her turncoat ex friend as she finally releases the bloody blonde from her massive breast smother and places her foot on Julie’s motionless face as the referee raises her hand.

Your winner in 4:01 is SOFIA VERGARA.

*

Backstage Beyonce, Nicole Sherzinger, Janet Jackson and Nicki Minaj are ready to be interviewed by Carmen Electra regarding the lynching and hanging of their teammate Rihanna at the last PPV by their blonde rivals, The Klan. There is an anger and fury on their faces that is seldom seen on that of four beautiful women. Beyonce has the mic and addresses their tormentors directly.

“Bitches! You damned cracker sluts gone and done it now! You crossed the line. What you did to Ri Ri at the last PPV was a declaration of war and if it’s war you want than that’s what you’ll get!”

She uses the pause to stare around at her teammates before continuing.

“So what we are doing now is challenging you white bitches for the next PPV to a War Games, steel cage, submission only match. 5 on 5, my girl Rihanna will be back and seeing as Miss Janet is out with that broken leg from your car stunt last month we got ourselves a new member – Mariah Carey! Let’s hear it for M girls!”

While the others whoop and holler Nicki doesn’t look too impressed by this bit of news, they have had a rather public bitching session only recently.

“So blondies, Klan, whatever you cunts want to call yourselves if you got the guts show up next month and enter the cage with us and go to war!”

As they pump each other up Carmen turns to the camera and says.

“Well folks it looks like we have a challenge for next months we’ll have to wait to see if Charlize, Cameron and co. are up to matching it. Now back to the ring.

*
Back in the arena Sofia Vergara is still slapping fans hands when the lights go down and a high tempo dance track hits, followed by a futuristic light show. The spotlight hits the top of the ramp and there emerges Jennifer Lopez in a bright white one piece bikini, She looks amazing and doesn’t she know it!

J-Lo is just about the most smug, self satisfied person on planet earth and doesn’t even try to hide it. As she gracefully descents the ramp she virtually looks down her nose at all the fans until she stops abruptly as Sofia Vergara has just deliberately caught her ankle from the floor and caused the diva to sprawl forward in an untidy heap! The audience explodes with laughter and J- Lo looks fit to burst a blood vessel as she glares at the Colombian model. But before she can make more of it the music changes and just as the ring announcer goes to introduce Jennifer’s opponent, Selma Blair, Selma charges down the ring behind J-Lo and sends her spinning with a clothesline from behind.

Sofia laughs and makes her way towards the back as short haired Selma grabs Jennifer by her long hair and unceremoniously chucks her into the ring under the bottom rope to start this contest.

Having rolled J-lo into the ring Selma athletically leaps up onto the apron outside the ring and grips the top rope excitedly as she watched her tormentor groggily rise to her feet. Once Jennifer is up Selma leaps up to the top rope and goes to hit a springboard dropkick but Jennifer neatly sidesteps it and allows Selma to crash hard to the mat. Scowling Jennifer hauls her opponent to her feet, rams her head between her thighs before pulling her up then hammering her down with a vicious powerbomb in centre ring. Then Jennifer stalks to Selma’s shoulders, stands over her and drops her large backside snuggly on top of Selma Blair’s face. We’re less than a minute into this match and it looks like being over.

Jennifer grabs Selma’s legs and lifts them up, rocking back to smother her face with her ample arse and with nowhere to go Selma just manages to pathetically tap her hand repeatedly on the mat, tapping out her surrender.

Your winner in 0:44 is JENNIFER LOPEZ. After the bell keeps on ringing but Miss Lopez is steadfastly refusing to remover her derriere from her foes face and by now Selma’s arms have stopped tapping and are lying still by her sides. Eventually the referee drags Jennifer off and the Latino superstar smirks at the state of her opponent. She turns to the nearest camera and snarls.

“Sofia Vergara, you Colombian cunt! You’re next! Take a look at your future!”

Jennifer points at Selma Blair who right then has medical personnel attending her and affixing an oxygen mask to her motionless face.

“Because once you’re under my ass, your mine!”

*

Backstage Courtney Cox is tying her boots as the camera pans up to show Kaley Cuoco standing beside her in the dressing room.

“You shouldn’t have come here Kaley, you’re just making yourself a target for that crazy bitch.”

Kaley is still using a crutch after first having her leg broken by her former partner and then having it re-injured before the last PPV through a cheap attack at her own home.

“Don’t worry about me Courteney I brought some extra protection today.”

At that the camera moves over and reveals the debuting Melissa Rauch, Kaley’s Big Bang Theory colleague. The diminutive blonde has a hard look on her face and a nightstick in her hand and looks like she means business.

“Yeah don’t worry, if that bitch Aniston tries anything on my girl tonight and she’ll regret it.”

“Yeah Court, don’t you worry about anything other than hurting her, beating her and getting that World Title shot.”

*

Back to the ringside and ominous music plays as a very determined looking Eliza Dushku stalks towards the ring. She is clearly not happy at losing at the past two PPV’s (first to Sarah Michelle Gellar in a World Title match, then to Jennifer Love Hewitt in a Number One contenders match) and is looking for a measure of retribution here. She’s wearing a shiny black, PVC bra top and shorts and with her dark make up is looking extremely menacing.

Her opponent is Alyson Hannigan, who interfered in the Love Hewitt match and , while not quite costing Eliza the match certainly didn’t help matters. The perky red head comes down the ramp towards the ring in matching scarlet bra and panties and although also a heel is clearly the crowd favourite in this match up judging by their respective entrances.

Eliza charges Alyson as soon as she steps through the ropes and we’ve got yet another quick starting match, the bells rings and the announcers gets out of there as Dushku knocks Alyson to the canvas and just stamps the living hell out of her!

Honestly there must be about thirty stamps all over Alyson’s body in that first minute until somehow she rolls out of the ring. But that offers no respite because Eliza follows her out, grabs her long hair and slams her face into the ring post before Irish whipping her hard into the metal crowd barrier. Eliza locks fucking intense as she hauls a pained Alyson off the metal barrier by her hair and hurls her back into the ring. She follows her back in but as she stands over her opponent Alyson fires a fist right into Eliza’s pussy and stops her in her tracks, dropping her to her knees. The red head gets to her own feet and steps forward to slam her knee right into Eliza’s stunned face and knock her onto her back, whereupon Alyson mounts her and fires off a barrage of her own, this time a rein of punches and slaps to her face.

The first few minutes of this match have been an out and out brawl and that just continues as Eliza breaks up her beatdown by jamming her fingers into Alyson’s eyes. Alyson slides off Eliza and feels for her eyes and by the time she’s cleared her vision somewhat Eliza is back up and measures and delivers a field goal punt right between Hannigan’s thighs to her cunt!

That’s a game changer right there and the crowd gives off a sympathetic “Ooooh” as Alyson’s mouth does the same. Eliza takes advantage and flips Alyson onto her back, spreads her legs then drops a vicious knee right to the same spot. Her reputation as “The Pussy Pounder” looks like continuing at this PPV! And as she gets up Eliza hooks Alyson’s panties and pulls them off before pulling one leg hole of them over Alyson’s head and choking her with them!

The ref frantically tries to break this assault up, it’s not a no-DQ match and eventually pulls Eliza off but as the brunette stamps her foot right down on Alyson’s pussy the red panties still hang from her neck. Eliza then pulls Alyson up and lifts her only to drop her down in an inverted atomic drop so that Eliza’s knee is what Alyson’s crotch lands on then without letting her topple over Eliza lifts her up again and deposits her legs either side of the top rope before grabbing her by the ankles and dragging her the length of the ring, roughly rubbing Alyson’s bare pussy along the rope delivering a horrible burning to her sensitive area all the way.

Alyson looks pained and on the point of tears as she balances awkwardly on the top rope. She’s not there for long though as a standing dropkick from her opponent, unseats her and sends her crashing to the floor. Eliza hops out after her, stands her up then slips onto the apron herself and hooks her hands into the panties that still hang around Alyson’s neck and lifts up with all her might, effectively hanging her!

It only lasts a few moments though before Alyson’s weight is too much for the material of her panties and they snap and Alyson falls to the ground but so too does Eliza, the sudden snap sending her backwards to hit the ropes and fall awkwardly forward and crack her head on the announce desk.

After an little while it’s Eliza that is still first to her feet but she’s shaken up and as she stoops to grab Alyson the red head grab’s the waistband of her opponent’s shorts and uses them to fall back and propel Eliza over her and smack, head first into the ring post. Now the tide really has turned but it still takes Alyson a minute or so to struggle to her feet and roll Eliza back in the ring and follow her back in. Once in though she picks her up then drops her with a lightning fast DDT that plants the brunette’s skull into the mat and covers her for a very close two count, the first of the match.

Alyson picks Eliza up, whips her into the corner and follows up with an elbow that finds it’s mark in Eliza’s forehead and as she staggers in the corner held up by the ropes, Alyson jumps up, hooks Eliza’s head and nails a bulldog head lock that slams her forehead into the mat and garners a second, ultra close two count. Still burning with embarrassment at having her panties removed on live PPV Alyson’s next move was to unclip Eliza’s bra top and release her large, milky tits for all to see. Then she stood up and pulled Eliza’s head between her thighs and tried to perform a Pedigree type manoeuvre that would drive her opponents face into the mat but Eliza blocked it, once then twice. As Alyson went for a third effort Eliza managed to drop to her knees and hammers her fists up right between Alyson’s legs.

Alyson is stunned again and staggers back whereupon Eliza rise up, gets behind her, lifts her up as if for an Atomic drop but instead runs towards the corner with her before releasing her sending her flying through the corner pads and crotching her at pace around the metal corner pole. There is a solid thud as Alyson’s crotch connects and she just looks stunned as she hangs there before dropping backwards onto the mat. She’s beaten there and then but Eliza isn’t finished, she drags her into centre ring on her back, once again spreads her legs, holds them by the ankles and proceeds to drop ten hard knee drops from each knee into Alyson’s unprotected pussy. By the time the tenth from the right knee lands the red head has passed out, flat on her back and as Eliza holds her knee in this time and grinds down the referee easily counts to three to bring the punishment to an end.

The winner in 10:31 is ELIZA DUSHKU.

But she’s not finished there and she slips out of the ring to retrieve a few items she left under the ring earlier on that night. Once back in the ring she snaps a pair of leather cuffs on Alyson’s wrists behind her back and then she pulled a thick leather collar around Alyson’s neck and attaches a heavy silver chain to the ring on the front. Eliza stops for a moment to glare up at the entrance way to see if Alyson’s friend and World Champion, Sarah Michelle Gellar will attempt a rescue but once it becomes clear not then hauls at the leash hard and proceeds to drag / walk a tearful Alyson out of the ring and up the ramp and into the darkness beyond the curtain..

*

As everyone is wondering what fate awaits Alyson the camera cuts to Sharon Stone being interviewed by Lindsay Lohan.

“Sharon Stone, tonight your stable have been challenged to a War Games cage match at the next PPV by your mortal enemies in Beyonce’s Battalion. Do you accept?”

Sharon stares at Lindsay then takes a long hard drag on the cigarette in her hand and addressed the camera.

“Of course we accept. But let me tell you girls, when you lose the match and you are lying broken and battered in that locked steel cage with all these forms of dominant white women you cannot imagine just what we’ll do to you all. You thought little Rihanna got it bad at the last PPV? That is nothing to what we will do to the lot of you!”

And with that Sharon casually stubs her cigarette out on Lindsay’s unsuspecting cheek! Then all hell breaks out as Sharon is clotheslined from behind by Beyonce. The blonde goes flying forward and falls to her face. Beyonce grabs her leg and holds it straight before shouting.

“C’mn girl, do it now.”

And from the shadows emerges Rihanna to jump up and drop her own knee right on Sharon’s leg. There’s an audible crack as they break her leg and as they high five Sharon Stone lies in absolute agony, clutching her leg and squealing like a pig. More commotion and Cameron Diaz and Charlize Theron emerge, they were just about to go to the ring for their World Tag Title shot when this ambush took place and Beyonce and Rihanna are already on their way out of this backstage area, leaving a scene of utter chaos behind.

*

The crowd is buzzing from that scene when we return to ringside and the bell ringing to get their attention and introduce the World Tag Team Champions. Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox make their usual sexual, sensual entrance, this month clad in matching snakeskin one piece swimsuits as the writhe their way to the ring and deposit their title belts at the time-keepers table. They perform their usual borderline lesbian porn show in getting into the ring with Megan crawling through Angelina’s thighs to enter before they embrace and share a long French kiss in centre ring as their challengers are being introduced.

There is quite a delay before first Cameron Diaz then Charlize Theron come out from backstage and make their way down the ramp. They are separate and clearly distracted from the shocking attack on their manager just moments before. Eventually they are both in the ring and the bell rings but as the two blondes stand in the ring it’s clear they’ve lost the plot a bit and taking advantage their raven haired opponents grab a blonde head apiece and take the chance to smash their foreheads together to get the match underway.

Charlize drops to the mat clutching her head and rolls out of the ring while Megan climbs to a top turnbuckle, Angelina picks up Cameron and bodyslams her down hard in centre ring just in time for Megan to launch herself up and nail a top rope legdrop right across Cameron’s throat that gets a close two count in the first minute of this contest!

Megan slaps Cameron across the face as she straddles her and their partners make their way to their respective corners. Megan slips down Cameron’s bikini top, grabs hold of Cameron’s nipples and then twists with all her might! Well this is a change of pace but typical of the type of sexual attacks the Champions like to employ. And doesn’t Megan Fox look like she’s enjoying herself tormenting her older opponent like this, her tongue is out and he looks like a bitch in heat as she pours on the pressure on Cameron’s nipples. She soon regrets having her tongue out though as Cameron gets an arm clear beneath her and swing sit up in a punch to Megan’s chin that sees her bite her own tongue and recoil away at the sudden pain.

Cameron was fuming at the events of the last ten minutes or so and rather than tag out she just adjusted her bikini top to cover her tits and take out some of her frustration on her opponent. With Megan still on her knees and feeling at her now bleeding tongue she never even saw it coming as Cameron stormed over and kicked her in the ribs then as Megan dropped flat on the mat she followed it up with a couple of hard stamps to Megan’s head. Then she hauls her to her feet by pulling Megan’s long, dark hair before ramming a knee into her gut, doubling her over and leaving her perfectly positioned for Cameron to wrap her arms around her, hoist her up before dropping her in a hard powerbomb.

As Megan Fox lay on her back in agony Cameron leaned over her, gave an evil laugh and pulled off her opponents snakeskin bikini to strip her nude in centre ring.

“You like humiliation girlie, do you? You like playing with nipples? Let’s see if you like this!”

And with that Cameron stood on Megan’s splayed out long hair and then reached down to grab her nipples and proceeded to pull up with all her considerable might! As Megan howled Cameron took the chance to look at Angelina but was a bit disconcerted that Megan’s partner seemed amused by what was happening in the ring. After a minute of that torture, with Megan arching her back in agony, Cameron stepped off the hair and pulled Megan to her feet by her nipples, walked her to Cameron and Charlize’s corner then lifted her up and dropped her over the top rope and still held onto her nipples, effectively dangling her in mid air by her tits!

Inevitably gravity won that battle and after ten seconds Megan slipped from Cameron’s hands and crashed to the floor but in that ten seconds Megan Fox squealed in utter agony. With a final smirk, having finally dropped her foe Cameron casually tagged in her own partner. Meantime over in the opposing corner it appeared that Angelina Jolie had her right hand inside the crotch of her swimsuit and had been frigging herself while listening to her partners screams.

Not that Charlize could have cared what Jolie was up to the South African had dropped out of the ring and was busy punching Megan all over her nubile, naked body. Then the crowd came alive and started cheering at something clearly not the action in (well outside) the ring. Charlize heard it but ignored it to whip Megan into the metal railing then follow up with several hard knife edge chops.

The camera had found what has caused the commotion as Nicole Sherzinger and Nicki Minaj had emerged in the crowd and were making their way, slowly down a set of steps, though the crowd, towards the ringside area.

By the time that Nicki and Nicole had made it to ringside in the crowd Charlize had forgotten about Megan and Cameron had dropped down off the apron too, to confront their rivals. Megan took the opportunity to roll back into the ring and crawl over to her corner where Angelina lifted her eyebrows before deigning to accept the tag.

Outside there was a real war of words as Nicki and Nicole bad mouthed the blondes and they fired back with an equal amount of insults. Then Nicki clearly spat right in Cameron’s face and it all kicked off with all four brawling, either side of the barricade as security rushed down to break things up. In amidst the chaos Angelina Jolie had snuck over the ring, stood on the apron and chosen the perfect moment to nail Charlize with a clothesline from the apron. As everyone else tried to tear Nicki and Cameron apart, Angelina rolled Charlize into the ring and hoisted her atop her shoulders and made the tag back to Megan. Megan climbed to the top and hit a clothesline herself from way up there that flipped Charlize through 360 degrees and sent her spinning to the canvas.

With the referee distracted in trying to clear ringside Angelina took the chance to lift Charlize into a tombstone piledriver position, wait for Megan to climb up again then the pair of them executing a deadly spiked Tombstone that drove the South African blonde’s head into the canvas viciously!

Angelina slowly exited through the ropes while Megan licked her lips and peeled off her prey’s thong bikini briefs and began to thrust first one finger, then two and finally three into her pussy. With the referee finally concentrating on action in the ring Megan stretched a lazy arm across her opponents chest and demanded he count while she finger fucked her! ONE… TWO… THREE!!

Your winners and still World Tag Team Champions, ANGELINA JOLIE and MEGAN FOX in 5:01.

Wow! What a humiliating loss for Cameron and Charlize (especially Charlize). So as Angelina enters the ring and treats her partner to a long, sloppy French kiss while they embrace and hold up their title belts, the blondes roll out of the ring and make their way back up the ramp with a venomous look on their faces. Looks like War Games could be quite the hostile battleground at the next PPV.

*

Backstage and just as interviewer Carmen Electra gets set to quiz Selena Gomez about the debut at next month’s PPV she is interrupted by a clearly flustered World Champ, Sarah Michelle Gellar.

“Have you seen her? Have you seen Alyson?”

Carmen shakes her head in the negative.

“Damn it, I need her. Where’s that bitch taken her? Whose going to run interference no..”

She breaks off as if she just suddenly became aware of the cameras and angrily shoves it away, knocking the cameraman over before storming off.

*

A video package plays of the history between Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston and how things came to this. From their friendship to their break up to their brutal inconclusive battle at the previous months show that led to this – a no DQ, falls count anywhere street fight with the winner receiving a World title match at the next PPV.

Once that is done the lights dim and as loud music hits out comes Jennifer Aniston to a chorus of boos, she is easily the most hated contestant in the Federation now due to the run of evil acts she has been perpetrating. Not that she cares, she ignores her reception and stalks to the ring, dressed in jeans, a white vest and with boots on her feet, she looks ready for a hard fight.

The mood changes as the music changes and out emerges Courteney Cox, wearing a black leather bra top and shorts and pushing a shopping trolley filled with items she intends to use tonight. There is a kendo stick, a 2 x 4, a baseball bat, a bike chain, a dustbin lid and more in there and she pauses atop the ramp to take the crowds acclaim before leaving her trolley and running down the ramp and sliding under the bottom rope and this fight is on!

Jen dropped down on her foe as soon as she slid in the ring and let fly with a flurry of punches, Courteney grabbed Jen’s hair and hauled her down to the canvas beside her and the two fought like hellcats while rolling on the mat, fighting for position. The punched, slapped, bit and pulled hair for a minute or so until Jennifer finally got an advantage by jamming her thumb right in her former friends eye. Jen grinned as she got to her feet and went to haul Courteney to her’s by her long, black hair. But she got a knee to her gut for her trouble and Cox then whipped Jennifer into the ropes before nailing her with a high impact clothesline that sent Aniston crashing to her back. Courteney was on her in a flash, straddling her and wrapping her hands around Jennifer’s slender throat and strangling her. And of course to the fans delight, the referee just stood and allowed it, it was No DQ!

Jennifer struggled in her position on her back to free herself but to no obvious advantage, she tried clawing at Courteney’s face but she just leaned her face back out of reach, she tried pulling hair but Courteney just grunted and withstood the discomfort. And all the time Jennifer could feel more and more light headed as the oxygen got cut off. Even this early on this was desperate, she could feel her face turning colour so in desperation she reached down and into her jeans pocket and fastened her hand around a knuckle duster she had taken in with her. Somehow she got her hand out and away enough to fire in a kidney shot, it brought a pained grunt from Cox but she held on and poured on the pressure in her choke.

However a second punch to her left kidney weakened Courteney’s grip and a third one broke it completely, knocking Cox over holding her side in anguish. Jennifer held her throat and gasped for air but knew she had to not let her foe get back up. She struggled to her feet just as Courteney got to hers and Jen fired in another brass knuckles assisted punch to Cox’s side then as she collapsed forward Jen fired a hard kick right into her opponent’s ribs. Dragging Courteney to her feet Jennifer pushed her against the ropes then deliberately wound the middle and top ropes around her outstretched arms, trapping her as she hung there barely moving. She was a sitting target and unsurprisingly Jennifer Aniston displayed no mercy. Five knuckles assisted punches to the left kidney/rib area , followed by a contemptuous spit in her face before as final uppercut that actually knocked a tooth from Courteney Cox’s mouth and knocked her free of the ropes.

Courteny groaned as she lay in the foetal position on the mat and did nothing to prevent Jennifer from pulling off her bra top, her shorts and her boots, leaving Courteney Cox stark naked mid-ring.

Then Jennifer tossed away her knuckles and drew her studded leather belt from around her waistband, held it up and proceeded to lash the living hell out of her former friend’s back. It was brutal, over twenty lashes that left Courteney’s back a mess of angry red welts and criss crossing scars, a couple even drew thin lines of blood out. Tired out somewhat Jen wrapped the belt around her right fist,pulled Courteny to her knees then held her head as she fired in punch after punch to her forehead, the belt buckle breaking the skin on the third punch and by the seventh her forehead was well busted open and the claret was flowing.

In complete control now Jen formed the belt into a loop and pulled it over Cox’s head before tugging it tight like a choke leash.

“Let’s see how you like being choked bitch!”

So Jennifer dragged Courteney all the way around the ring by her belt before stopping in a corner and sitting up on the top turnbuckle, pulling the belt with her. Courteney was tall enough that she could get her feet on the canvas though so Jennifer stood up and stepped up to stand on the top turnbuckle and attempt to hang her foe with the belt. She managed it, but just for a second as Courteney hit the ropes, unbalanced Jen and she flew off and crashed on the floor from the top turnbuckle while Courteney collapsed in the corner inside the ring, barely conscious.

While the crowd roared their approval both former Friends actresses lay prone in their respective positions, not moving. Jennifer had taken a hell of a bump, smacking straight down on the concrete floor with nothing breaking her fall. Courteney was in pretty bad shape though and struggled to even get up never mind take advantage of her rival’s misfortune. The raven haired beauty pulled herself unsteadily to her feet by the ropes and the whole world could see she was in rough shape. Blood still dripped from her forehead, there were ugly red marks around her throat, her back was a mess of welts and there was a mass of bruises on her side from Jen’s brass knuckles assisted assault. But her will to win drove her on and she got through the ropes and dropped to the ground, wincing at the pain the jolt sent through her body. By then Jennifer was starting to stir but was only on her hands and knees by the time Courteney was behind her having picked up a metal folding chair en route.

And how Courteney and the crowd enjoyed it as she hoisted the chair up only to slam it down across Jennifer’s back! She then did it again, and again and a fourth time, each blow find the centre of Aniston’s back.

“You wanna fucking strip me, bitch, two can do that!”

So she proceeded to haul off Jen’s clothing to leave her stark naked too, before scooping her up, moving over to the steel ramp and bodyslamming Jennifer onto the ramp and collapsing onto for a two count, the first of the match.

Slowly Jennifer got to her knees and by that time Courteney had retrieved her chair and ignoring her former friends pleading Cox swung the chair up and smashed it down right on her skull! And as Courteney accepted the acclaim from the crowd the camera zoomed in to show the cut that blow had opened on Aniston’s forehead. Courteney picked her up by the hair and dragged her up the ramp before Irish whipping her into the wall on the platform. Jen hit it hard and slumped to her ass while Courteney moved towards her weapons cart. From it she pulled the dustbin lid and marched over to Jennifer and proceeded to smash her head with it seven times until it was bent and misshapen and covered in splats of her blood. Cox threw the lid away before returning to the cart and retrieving the bicycle chain which she quickly wrapped around Jennifer’s throat and repaid the brutal choke of earlier.

Courteney stood behind the kneeling Jennifer and poured on the pressure, pulling the chain hard, having it bite into her neck, after a while of that she demanded the referee check her foe. The ref lifted Jen’s arm, once, then twice and the crowd rose awaiting the third and decisive one but from somewhere Aniston found the strength to reach her arm up and jam her fingers into Courteney’s face, scratching for all she could.

Courteney had to release her hold and Jennifer slipped her head out of the chain and crawled away to create some distance while Courteney swung the chain wildly at her but hit only wall. As Cox cleared her vision Aniston realised she had crawled to the shopping cart and pulled herself up then got behind the handle and ran with it, ramming it hard into Courteney’s side, knocking her into the wall and pinning her there. Jennifer reversed then slammed forward again, and again. Then grabbing the baseball ball from the trolley she rammed it into Cox’s gut, then lifted her arm and took a full blown swing and smacked it into her already injured ribs!

Then she picked Courteney up as if for a powerbomb, and indeed that was her intention, but as she aimed for the hard decking of the stage she changed trajectory and instead dropped her down in the move onto the top of the now nearly empty shopping trolley! It was a vicious move that left Courteney splayed in the car, her arms and legs over each side, her head lolling on the bar at the back, dazed from the move.

Jennifer then picked the 2 x 4 from the trolley and swung it viciously at her foe, it connected mostly with the metal frame and snapped it in half, leaving Jen cursing her aim and her vibrating hands. But as she picked up the snapped bit of wood the jagged edge on the snap seemed to given her evil intentions and she turned it around and deliberately pushed it into Courteney’s already busted open forehead and just ground the sharp wood in to a sick degree. When he pulled it back the camera saw that Cox’s head was now totally busted open and she was bleeding to the extent that her whole face was coated in red plasma. Aniston laughed and held the wood aloft to a resounding booing from the crowd. Jen just smirked and moved round the trolly to grip the handle. What the fuck was she up to?!

Everyone found out soon enough as she first backed up then to a shocked intake of breath from the crowd as they realised her intent she ran forward towards the side of the platform and shoved the trolley off the side and laughed as it sailed down a fifteen foot drop and splattered to the concrete floor below.

The cart’s landing was as ugly as you would expect after a drop (at pace) from that sort of height. The metal spars of the cart are bent and Courteney’s legs are hanging limply from it, she looks completely finished. After a few minutes of hushed silence from the crowd , who could not believe what they had just witnessed, they start to boo like hell as Jennifer picks up the baseball bat and holds it aloft in a mock salute. Then slapping it into her hand she slowly walks down the ramp, ignoring the torrents of verbal abuse she receives and the trash getting thrown at her by the irate crowd. At the bottom of the ramp she turns and walks up the side towards where her opponent still hasn’t moved.

Jen smirks then slams the bat down onto the buckled, metal frame. It makes a loud noise but does little more, before dragging Courteney’s carcass from the wreckage and once free of it she kneels over her shoulders and raises her arms as the referee easily counts to three.

Your winner in 14:40 and new Number #1 Contender for the World Title is JENNIFER ANISTON.

Afterwards Jennifer fends off concerned medical personnel with her baseball bat as she continues to kneel across her unconscious foe until Kaley Cuoco and Melissa Rauch come out, Kaley swinging her crutch and Melissa the kendo stick discarded earlier and Aniston beats a strategic withdrawal while pointing the bat at Kaley as if to say she’s not finished with the Big Bang star yet.

*

From that chaotic scene to another one where an irate Cameron Diaz and Charlize Theron are in their locker room with their partners, Nicole Kidman and Gwyneth Paltrow and are literally destroying their changing area such is their rage. Seeing the camera Charlize addresses it, fury in her face.

“You fucking stupid nigger bitches have done it now! You want to cost us the tag team titles? You want to break Sharon’s leg? You want us in a War Games Steel Cage? Well you got it sluts! Next moth us four will fucking tear you limb from fucking limb, whether we get a replacement partner or not. But we will, cos we know plenty bitches that want a piece of your asses.”

And with that she slams the dressing room door shut and we can still hear their fury as the camera fades to black. And fades up on a much more serene scene as Jennifer Love Hewitt receives last minute advice and support from her friends Lacey Chabert and Scarlett Johansson. She thanks them and to a cheer from the crowd starts to make her way toward the backstage area and seconds later as her music hits she stands proudly atop the ramp as the ring announcer introduces her as the challenger in the main event, for the World Championship.

*

Brunette Jennifer Love Hewitt looks amazing for her World Title shot, wearing a tiny, deep red, two piece bikini with a black trim that displays her perfect cleavage to amazing effect. She stands, looking focussed in centre ring as the music changes and out comes the Champion, Sarah Michelle Gellar onto the ramp, wearing a white one piece with the belt strapped around her tiny waist. She clearly looks a distracted and that only continues as when she reaches the bottom of the ramp her music cuts out and a voice calls out.

“Sarah! Hey Sarah! Up here bitch!”

Everybody in the arena is staring at the giant screen at the top of the ramp. On it is Eliza Dushku, she’s in the dark outside and from what light there is we can see her opponent from earlier, Alyson Hannigan kneeling on the ground with her back to Eliza still wearing the collar and handcuffs she was put into after their match.

“You’re little friend isn’t going to run any interference tonight Champ! No, I’ve got other plans for her.”

And with that Eliza shows us a spade she has in her hand and she lifts it and smacks it hard into Alyson’s back, sending her toppling forward into a hole in the ground in front of her. The camera pans out and we can see it’s a darkened cemetery they are in and that Alyson has just fallen face first into an open grave. Eliza shovels a heap of dirt on top of her naked back then turns to the camera gain.

“Good luck in your match Champ.”

Then sets to work with the shovel again.

AS the screen fades to black Sarah turns and slowly enters the ring. Jennifer has watched this all impassively, remember she is no friend of Eliza Dushku either after the past few PPV’s action.

Sarah glares are Jennifer trying to re-focus on her match. These two fought out a bloodbath of a barbed wire steel cage match just months ago and neither will ever forget it but this has no such stipulations, just a straight fight to decide who will leave with the belt. Even after the bell rings both babes still stare intently at each other until finally they break and charge towards each other and straight into a collar and elbow tie up. Jen was slowly winning that battle mid ring when Sarah swiftly stopped her advantage by kneeing her in the gut. As Hewitt bent over she got a kick to her face as well before Sarah grabbed her arm and went to Irish whip her into a corner.

Too early though, as Jennifer reversed that and used the momentum to send Sarah back first hard into the corner and followed up with a clothesline that squashed her foe in the corner. From there JLH stooped and lifted Sarah up across her shoulders and spun around but her attempt at a Death Valley Driver was scuppered when the blonde champ grabbed the ropes and managed to wriggle free and over the ropes to the floor. That turned out to be no safer than the ring though as Jennifer ran the ropes and nailed her with a baseball slide that knocked the champ to the floor much to the delight of the crowd. Hewitt was in complete control now and picked Sarah up by her ponytail and slammed her head into the crowd rail twice before ramming her into the corner pole outside the ring.

Then hooking her arm over her shoulder Jennifer deliver a suplex that splattered the blonde on the bottom of the metal entrance ramp before rolling back into the ring to break the referee’s count. She rolled straight back out though to continue her assault on the Champion with a series of vicious stamps before picking Sarah up by the hair and rolling her back in the ring. Once back in with her Jen lifted her foe up before dropping her right across her knee in a backbreaker and holding her there, bending Sarah’s spine uncomfortably. Pressing her hand on Sarah’s chin she pushed back harder and as the referee moved in to ask if Sarah wanted to submit the blonde desperately swung her arm up and scratched the side of Jennifer’s cheek, causing her to release the backbreaker, and drop Sarah to the mat while she tended to her injured face.

Sarah scrambled to her feet as quickly as she could, wincing at the ache in her lower back, but was in time to see Jennifer’s next attack and duck a big clothesline attempt and as Jennifer hit the ropes Sarah leapt up and nailed her right on the point of her chin with a beautiful drop kick. But if that was beautiful then what happened next was certainly ugly as Sarah seemed to come to life and take out all her anger and frustration on a prostrate Jennifer Love Hewitt. First she drove a couple of wicked knees to Jen’s unprotected head, then rolled her over, straddled her and smashed in a series of hard punches and slaps to the brunette’s face before picking her up, hauling her into a corner and ramming her forehead repeatedly into the top turnbuckle until Jen’s legs buckled and she slumped to her knees in the corner. Then she reversed to the opposite corner before running at her foe and dropkicking her from behind, while she knelt, driving her head into the middle turnbuckle with some major whiplash.

Sarah then lifts a pretty lifeless Miss Hewitt up before nailing her with a jumping DDT that brings an oh so close two count. Sarah is not too discouraged though and promptly sets her challenger up for a Pedigree and hits it, driving Jennifer’s pretty face into the mat with some velocity for another close two count. Sarah keeps up her high impact barrage by lifting Jen up as if for another Pedigree, but instead of that pulling her further and going for a fall back piledriver. However, Sarah has miscalculated and Jen’s extra weight unbalances the petite blonde and they both fall sprawling on the mat, with Love spilling out, under the ropes to the floor.

Sarah is quickly back to her feet but takes a few moments to spy her opponent who is sprawled at ringside. She waits until JLH struggles to her feet before running the opposite way, bouncing off the ropes then running towards the other ropes and launching herself through the ropes in a suicidal dive that just about hits its target. But while it clips Jennifer on the way it’s not enough to fully stop Sarah’s momentum and she continues on and crashes hard into the metal crowd barrier, with her right leg taking an almighty bang.

The crowd loved that action and are standing cheering as both combatants lie in a heap at ringside with a concerned referee looking down at them. Both girls come to at around the same time and even end up slugging each other with weak punches from their knees on the outside before Sarah regains the upper hand with another scratch to her opponents face. But as she gets to her feet the pain in her knee strikes and it buckles and she has to hold it and limp over to the side of the ring to stay up, where she spits at Jen and curses her before aiming a wild kick with her good leg at her. Big mistake because Jennifer grabs it, pushes up to her feet and nails Sarah with a wicked leg sweep that sends the blonde champion crashing back first to the hard floor. And then she twists and turns to slap on the figure four leg lock on Sarah outside the ring!

The crowd get even rowdier as Jennifer pours on as much pressure as she can and, eventually Sarah starts to slap the stone floor repeatedly, tapping out!!

But it’s no title change yet as this is a straight wrestling match not falls count anywhere and the referee is now out and remonstrating with Love Hewitt, telling her to get it back in the ring. Reluctantly she does just that, rolling an anguished SMG back in and following her, then she stands over her ready to snap on the figure four again only for Sarah to grab her hair, pull her over and get an agonisingly close two count from a small package. As they both get up though it’s clear the blonde is favouring her leg badly and she can’t avoid getting it kicked by Jennifer and crumpling down again and this time the challenger does hook on the leg lock and they are lying right in the centre of the ring.

Sarah is in agony and is looking around as if for something, or someone, but with Alyson in a shallow grave somewhere she clearly isn’t going to interfere so she just has to try and gut it out and maybe even roll over to put the pressure on her opponent. Which after an agonising minute of extreme pressure she does, putting the pressure back onto Jennifer, who quickly releases the hold. But Jen’s got her dander up now and as Sarah lies on her back trying to shake her leg back to life the busty brunette drags her to her feet then pulls Sarah’s face forward into her deep cleavage and goes for her deadly breast smother!

The crowd get even louder at the sight of Sarah Michelle Gellar having her pretty face plunged into the copious bosom of Jennifer Love Hewitt, and struggling, unsuccessfully to escape. Then, just as it seems the Champion must surely fail, Sarah summoned up the strength to wrap her arms around Jennifer enough to lift her up then to drop her back down, this time with Sarah’s knee between Jennifer’s thighs, colliding solidly with her crotch!

Jennifer gave off a howl and toppled to her side while an out of breath and badly limping Sarah grabbed the ropes and took stock of the situation before hopping over to her foe, dropping down and hooking on a rear naked choke, a move that allowed her to recover somewhat while cutting off the oxygen to Jennifer.

But it was also a move that allowed Jennifer to recover from her blow and once she did she powered her way up to her feet, with the crowd roaring her on as Sarah struggled to keep the choke on, straddling her back even as she rose. Jen then reversed at top speed into a corner and squashed Sarah behind her, then with her still reeling Jennifer popped out of the ring, reached under the bottom rope and tripped Sarah onto her face then wasted little time slamming Sarah’s injured knee into the ring post four times before wrapping a the figure four leg lock around the ring post and falling back to exert as much pressure as possible. Of course she couldn’t win this match like this but it was doing a fair amount of damage for when she had to break at the referee’s count and re-enter the ring. So much so that when Jennifer dragged Sarah to centre ring, laid out her injured leg and drove a succession on knees to the injured joint the applied a knee bar submission move every eye in the arena turned to Sarah to see if she gave up.

With tears in her eyes and despair on her face Sarah shook her head and refuse to quit but Jennifer was equally as determined and poured on more and more pressure on the knee joint of the champ until Sarah fell back on the mat almost passed out from the pain. As she lay on her back referee dropped to his knees and got an extremely near two count, with Sarah only weakly kicking out at the last moment. Then suddenly Jennifer abandoned her knee bar and leapt atop her foe’s chest and slowly lowered that deadly cleavage onto Sarah’s exhausted face and quickly cut off her air supply.

With Jennifer’s weight on top of her Sarah could not get clear and within thirty seconds her arms and legs went limp by her sides. The referee lifted Sarah’s arm once, then twice and as he lifted it a third time and it flopped to the mat Jennifer Love Hewitt lifted off her smother and raised her arms to the roof in triumph as it dropped a third time and the ref signalled for the bell!

Your winner in 19:01 and NEW WORLD CHAMPION is JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT.

An ecstatic JLH is handed the title belt and holds it aloft and shows it to all four corners as Sarah casts an envious glance at her before rolling out of the ring and limping up the ramp. She’s just about made it when Eliza Dushku emerges carrying her shovel and crashes it down on Sarah’s skull knocking her spark out at the top of the ramp. Eliza stands over and sneers while Jennifer milks her applause as the PPV fades to black and ends.

*

As a result of that action the following it the card for the next PPV , “WAR GAMES” looks like this:

COBIE SMULDERS / ALYSON HANNIGAN V. MELISSA RAUCH / KALEY CUOCO

SOFIA VERGARA V. JENNIFER LOPEZ

EMMA WATSON V. SELENA GOMEZ for the JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

MEGAN FOX / ANGELINA JOLIE V. MILEY CYRUS / BRITNEY SPEARS for the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

ELIZA DUSHKU V. SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR in a buried alive, coffin match, held in the confines of a real cemetery

BEYONCE / RIHANNA / NICOLE SHERZINGER / NICKI MINAJ / MARIAH CAREY
V.
CHARLIZE THERON / CAMERON DIAZ / GWYNETH PALTROW / NICOLE KIDMAN / A MYSTERY PARTNER TBA in a WAR GAMES match

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT v. JENNIFER ANISTON for the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP