The Third Element
Deborah the Warrior Prophetess
Vs.
Thundora the Battle Queen
By Deacon

Prophetess Deborah Manley-Jones and Minister Thundora Strongs-Smith were the best of friends and partners in leadership ministry at the Holy Evangelistic Temple of the Second Person Risen on the Seventh Day congregation affectionately called Holy ET. Someone said it “when GOD calls a meeting in heaven The Devil attends to”...both women had a competitive nature, both women were athletes in their younger days competing in sports that most girls would shy away from and some that most men dared not venture into: Weight Lifting, rugby, boxing & and wresting. What made these ingredients a volatile mixture was the third element; both women secretly wondered which one was the toughest. Hence Satan in the person of sister Sally B. Luzlipce constantly played one against the other with little messy things like:..”Oh I’m sorry sister ….said we are doing it like this...I thought she was in charge...my mistake”… until a quiet rift was created over nothing...nothing at all. Once two queen lionesses notices each other supremacy must be settled by combat even over the most trivial matters, such as the color and style of choir robes, the time and place of the youth retreat and who is best suited to counsel the youth and young adults when problems arise in their lives.
Normally these things would be settled by the pastor or a board of elders; Holy ET had neither, they only had sisters Thundora and Deborah and they could not agree.
They say that great minds think alike so I think it follows that carnal minds think alike also. The ladies agreed to meet privately away from the church in order to “discuss” their differences about how things should be run. They agreed to meet at Ray Miller Park on the gazebo 2am on a Thursday night. Both women thought to wear running, shoes shorts, t-shirts and sports bras; not standard apparel for holiness ministers but neither of them was “in the spirit” in fact they were having an extremely “carnal moment”.
They met spoke about their concerns briefly and then Deborah who was not good at beating around the bush just blurted out; “Why don’t we just tussle for it?!...to see who is gonna be in charge!”
“You sure you want this?” asked Thundora in a prideful manner.
“Ever since the day I met you” confessed Deborah.
“Well we agree on something…so what are the rules?”
“Do we need any?”
“Yes, no gouging, no face biting and no vaginal attacks”
“Why would I do any of those things Thundora?”
“Because when the butt whoopin pressure is too much for you and you feel yourself losing, and you will...lose...no tellin’ what a hefa might do when she is being slaughtered.”
Shut up and let’s do this! Snorted the no nonsense Deborah
They backed away from each other to opposite edges of the gazebo then charged at each other screaming their battle cries in unison alto voices until they clashed into world wind of hand, knee, foot and elbow strikes. They spun like tops battering one another with reckless abandon bouncing of the railing until their weight caused one beam to collapse and they clinched each other. Though Thundora was a head taller than Deborah they were evenly matched in strength speed and toughness; so the win would come down to strategy and the good and bad fortune of physics. Thundora using a migraine inducing headlock hindering strategic maneuvering and Deborah with a constricting leg lock frustrating Thundora’s needed mobility. Despite their initial injuries Thundora and Deborah immediately began rolling and grappling on the ground seeking superior position. Their mighty nubile forms were revealed by their sweat drenched attire affixed to their bodies. In the meantime the desired affects for their holds were realized Deborah became disorientated from the pain and pressure of the head lock and Thundora’s left extremity from her mighty buttocks to her robust calf muscle was made completely numb.
Deborah tenderized Thundora’s ribs with concentrated power punches to the tall woman’s torso while used a series of drilling knuckle blows to Deborah’s head. Their grappling waxed sophisticated and they spun shifted rolled bounced and slammed each other in a series of various holds slams and counter moves. Finally they settled in a mutual thigh lock entangling one another’s heads, necks and arms between their succulent “musla masculina”. Though the hold was identical the advantage was Thundora’s because of the length of her prodigious gams. Hence Thundora reached for her own ankle and pulled down increasing the pressure on Deborah’s carotid at least times two.
This time around the prophetess was not Deborah but Thundora; first to her delight and then to her chagrin. Thundora predicted she would eventually place so much pressure on Deborah that she would eventually lose the battle and that was happening. However she also predicted that Deborah because of the onslaught would cheat if she could so Thundora initiated some ground rules but she forgot one.
Though Deborah could not match Thundora’s version of the Thigh Lock she did have one hand free and so she applied the one dubious maneuver that Thundora failed to mention…the “Oil Check”. Once applied Thundora’s only thought was to separate herself from her opponent but Deborah would not let her go despite the larger girl’s howling begging and pleading and calling Deborah mama. Deborah only wanted to hear one phrase and after about three minutes of the painful intrusive maneuver “Thundora said it”You’re In Charge!”
It was settled and there was a reluctant peace at the Holy Evangelistic Temple of the Second Person Risen on the Seventh Day congregation affectionately called Holy ET.
Deacon