BATTLE AT THE DOUBLE D SALOON
by Rob and Sceej

Joyce kicked off her shoes and propped her feet up on the coffee table, a glass of wine at hand. After a long day at the office and a workout at the gym she was wiped out.
She clicked on the tv and began channel surfing. News, reality program, old movie - hey! The movie was a black-and-white western, in which a blonde lady sheriff was having an argument with a busty brunette saloon girl. To Joyce's delight, the blonde wound up socking the saloon girl on the jaw, leaving her limp and beaten on the barroom floor.
"Wow, that reminds me of my 'discussions' with ol' Double D Debbie" Joyce mused. Her eyes grew heavy and began to drift shut. "Wonder what that would have been like if we'd met in the Old West?" she murmured as she drifted into dreamland.
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Sheriff Joyce propped her boots up on the desk of her office. She'd spent the morning out chasing down some rustlers and thinking maybe a hour of shut-eye would be nice just now.
No such luck for the slim but wiry blonde, though. A group of townswomen burst though the door and all of them began to talk at once.
"Just a minute! Just a minute!" Joyce shouted, springing to her feet and holding up her hands. "One at a time! Bertha - tell me what this visit is all about!"
Bertha Bottoms took a deep breath. She was a very large woman, not too tall but very wide, with blonde hair and a perpetually red face.
"Well, you see, Sheriff Joyce, it's about that new saloon, the Double D! Our men spend all their time there with that bunch of whores. And what the men don't spend on drink ends up getting stolen by those hussies when they gamble. You have to shut that place down, Sheriff!"
The Gunch sisters nodded their agreement. Elviry and Agatha were tall, boney women. They had worked their ranch since they were girls (they looked to be in their 40s now) and their long arms were tanned and muscular.
"The card games and the roulette wheel are both fixed" Elviry pointed out. "You know that ain't allowed in this town, Sheriff!"
The fourth member of the odd little group chimed in. Tina Jones, known to everyone who patronized her dressmaker shop as Tiny, stood just an inch or two over four feet tall. But she had a fiery temper as her husband -ironically, the tallest man in town - could testify.
"We've let this thing go on too long! It's time to go over there and clean out that nest of vipers!" the little woman declared.
Joyce looked from face to face and sighed. That nap was going to have to wait.
"Okay, let's go over there and see what's up. But you ladies let me do the talking!"
Sheriff Joyce stalked into the saloon, dressed in a white blouse, jeans and boots with a white Stetson completing the outfit. As she looked around, a balding fat man was playing a tinkling piano but one glance at the group of townswomen who were approaching the bar and the music suddenly stopped.
Their entrance had not gone unnoticed. The owner of the saloon, Double D Debbie herself, eyed the women, particularly the lithe figure of the sheriff. She and Joyce had argued before and Joyce had warned her about cheating the customers and the activities of her "soiled doves" who did a brisk business with the men upstairs.
Debbie was tall with shapely legs and a pretty face. But her most striking features was her 34DD's that were displayed in a black corset/dress. The proud breasts seemed to be about to burst out from their containment with the slightest movement. She gave the sheriff a cold smile and walked her slow, sexy walk across the saloon floor toward the strange group of townswomen.
"Why, good afternoon, Sheriff. Ladies. What brings you to the Double D today? Don't tell me you and your, um, girlfriends are looking for a little companionship?"
The tall brunette and her ten girls all had a huge laugh at Debbie's joke. Debbie was flanked by her two best girls, Bambi and Bunny. Bambi was a stunning blonde with huge blue eyes and curly hair while Bunny was a dark-eyed, freckled red-haired vixen.
Behind them the other girls began lining up, perhaps sensing that trouble was brewing. The stunning women included Katie, another busty brunette who almost rivaled Debbie in both looks and cup size; Hilda and Gretchen, two zaftig German blondes in pigtails; Lucrezia, a tall slim black-haired woman with flashing blue eyes and a cruel smile; ; Rosita, a Mexican beauty with dark eyes and hair who sat on a wooden swing in the center of the room; and Dolly and Molly, twins with wicked grins and strawberry-blonde hair. All of the women were beautiful and all had awe-inspiring bosoms. It seemed that was a trademark of the Double D Saloon.
"Seems you and your girls have been accused of cheating the good people of Tumbleweed" Joyce told the sneering Debbie. "I have warned you twice before - if I find you've been cheating today, you and your trollops will be run out of town!"
Debbie merely shrugged. "Go ahead and investigate - but I will warn you. You ain't running me and my girls out of this one-horse town until we're good and ready!"
While they were speaking, the rawboned sisters Elviry and Agatha had quietly slipped over to the Faro wheel. Suddenly Elviry gave a grunt and a pull and Agatha shouted with glee when clock parts flew in all directions.
"See here, Sheriff! They're rigged the wheel with clock parts!" Agatha yelled, pointing at the scattered cogs and wires.
Debbie started to charge at the older women but Joyce caught her by one arm and yanked her back. "Not so fast, Debbie! You...!" She stopped speaking when four cards, all aces, fell from Debbie's lowcut bustier.
For an instant, things were so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Everyone stared at the broken rigged Faro wheel and the incriminating cards. Then all hell broke loose! Debbie cut loose with a roundhouse right that smacked the surprised Joyce and almost knocked her off her feet. The rest of the women on both sides sprang into action, choosing their targets and Clem, the piano player, struck up a lively version of "Camptown Races" to accompany the festivities.
Debbie threw another wild right but Joyce blocked it and let the big brunette have a short uppercut to the chin and a jab to the ribs. Debbie huffed and backed up, a little stunned. But before Joyce could follow up on her advantage, Katie, with a angry shriek, came sailing in swinging both fists. Joyce began trading blows with the wild-eyed vixen, giving Debbie a chance to recuperate.
In the meantime, all hell had broken loose in the Double D. The Gunch sisters had squared off against a loose group of saloon girls and fists were flying. Elviry and Agatha's hard muscles, gained from years of farm work mowing hay, chopping wood and hauling water, were taking a toll on the younger women, who had been living soft lives since coming to the town of Tumbleweed. Bambie grunted and groaned as Elviry knocked her pretty face back and forth with a series of rapid punches. Bunny screeched when Agatha caved in her big right tit with a straight right. She tried to retreat from the punishing fists but she bumped into Katie. As Bambi turned to see what was behind her, Katie took that moment to duck and the fist that was meant for the big brunette crashed into Bambi's startled face. "Oh!" was all she could gasp before staggering backwards.
This was not the best move the redhead could have made, as this put her right back into the sights of Agatha, who grinned and gave her two more punches to the chest. Bunny covered her injuried boobs with her hands but that left her
jaw open for a thunderous uppercut that left her crosseyed and wobbly-legged.
Back across the saloon Katie had slipped her hands into her dress pockets and
retrieved two sets of brass knuckles. She growled as she windmilled punches at
Sheriff Joyce. The slim blonde was too quick for the saloon girl, though, and
avoided the initial attack. Then she slammed a left-right combo to Katie's wide-open midsection. This slowed her down enough for Joyce to grab her hands and
yank off the brass knucks. She tossed them away and charged at Katie.
Up on the saloon's stage, Dolly and Molly were trying to attack Bertha Bottoms. This was a difficult task, even for two women. Bertha was 5-7 and around 220 pounds and there was more muscle there that seemed apparent. Dolly tried a frontal assault, coming after Bertha with a whiskey bottle while Molly sneaked around behind and leapt onto Bertha's wide back.
If either of these attacks bothered the rotund woman, she gave no sign. She calmly caught the bottle with one big hand and wrenched it from Dolly's grasp. A backhand sent the smaller woman spinning, then Bertha simply backed up and smashed Molly into the wall. The cute blonde made a tiny "Eerrrk" sound and slid slowly down Bertha's back into a heap on the wooden floor. She looked a little like a squirrel who had been run over by the Tumbleweed stagecoach.
Dolly was using this time to try to crawl to safety but Bertha, moving faster than expected considering her size, grabbed the saloon tramp by her strawberry blonde hair and yanked her head back.
"C'mere, you! I ain't done with either of you hussies just yet!" the big woman rumbled and Molly whimpered in fear.
But every battle was not going the way of the townswomen. Tiny had spotted the tall British woman Lucrezia and had gone charging after her, in spite of the black-haired woman being almost two feet taller than the little dressmaker.
"I'll teach you to steal my husband!" Tiny yelled at Lucrezia, swinging her little fists wildly.
"Too late! I already know how to steal him!" Lucrezia laughed. She held Tiny off with a long arm and the shorter woman could only swing frantically at the air, unable to reach her foe.
"You pathetic townies - thinking you're so much better than us! I will have you know I am descended from British royalty! You Western trash are not fit to associate with women such as myself!" she lectured Tiny. Tiring of talk, Lucrezia briskly slapped the tiny woman over and over in the face and cruelly twisted her arm up behind her. Tiny struggled but Lucrezia was far stronger. The black-haired woman finally let Tiny feel a final stinging slap as she kicked her in the stomach.
Tiny staggered across the room and fell to the floor. It was there she spotted a set of discarded brass knuckles. She looked over her shoulder at the preening Lucrezia and smiled as she slipped the knucks on her little fist.
The tall woman was standing with her legs slightly spread, watching the fight. She didn't seem too interested in mixing it up with the furious townswomen but she was totally engrossed in seeing the battle unfold. So it was easy for Tiny to slip up behind her and slide silently between her long legs.
With her elbows Tiny slammed into Lucrezia's legs, spreading them even wider. Then she struck upwards with all her might, using the brass knuckles to punch Lucrezia in her exposed crotch.
The dark-haired beauty's eyes popped open wide and her mouth formed a pained "O" shape. She rose up on her toes, her face a mask of exquisite agony. Lucrezia's mouth formed an "O" but not sound came out even as her "moneymaker" was violated.
Surprisingly, she didn't immediately crumble to the floor but she could only manage to squeak out a tiny "oook" sound as she froze in her stance.
Tiny slide through those shapely legs and came up face-to-boobs with her taller adversary. "Not so tough now, eh?" she taunted the bigger woman who still had not moved. "Want to slap me around a little more now? No?"
Lucrezia's mouth worked but she could only whisper another "oook!". Tiny wound up and started to bash the tramp again but Lucrezia started slowly sinking to the floor. She wound up on her knees (which put her eye-to-eye with Tiny, who was giggling at her tall foe's total defeat), then folded up to lie with her chin on the floor and her shapely rear in the air. Her eyes were still open and she still had a shocked expression on her face but it was plain to see she was out. Tiny grinned a wide grin and looked around for her next fight.
Joyce and Katie were duking it out over near the poker tables. Katie had started off strong but as she ran out of steam she began to get the worst of the fight. Joyce slammed the brunette with rights and lefts to the face and when Katie tried to cover up, she dug some cruel hooks into the hussy's ribs.
Katie was moaning and whimpering but she still gamely tried to put up a fight. She swung a weak right at Joyce, who easily dodged it and hit her again in the pit of the stomach. Katie groaned and staggered backwards. A final crushing uppercut sent her stumbling backwards into a chair. She landed on the chair and slumped over, eyes glazed and her jaw hanging slackly. She too was out of fight.
In the meantime, the Gunch sisters were busy with the rest of the Double D girls. The six women still in the fight were trying to overwhelm the tall pair of townswomen but their very numbers worked against them, as they could not seem to get a superior position on the Gunches.
In truth, Elviry and Agatha had been in their share of brawls and were using their experience to make the saloon girls pay a heavy price. Bunny seemed to
be in the front of the assault at all times. Elviry was grinning as she
pummeled Bunny's big boobs like a prizefighter would work over a punching bag.
The red-haired Bunny squealed with pain as her tits came out of her top and continued to get a good working over from her opponent. She tried to back up
and get away from the beating but Agatha, in a fierce fight with the two shapely German women, whirled and popped Bunny in the eye before turning back to the battle with the pig-tailed blondes.
Bunny winced, covered her aching boobs and tried to edge around the swirling mass of fighting females. But her luck was still bad. Tiny spotted her and dashed over to kick her in the shin, then when Bunny bent over, the little woman cracked a hard right jab to the topless redhead's uninjured eye.
"Owwwooohh!" Bunny moaned. "Why does everything happen to meeee?!" Now both her brown eyes were rapidly swelling shut and Tiny was taking aim at those exposed tits with the big pink nipples.
Over on the stage, Bertha had the twins, Molly and Dolly, on their feet. The two strawberry blondes were shaking with fear at the hands of their heavyweight conqueror.
"So, have you two harlots learned your lesson?" Bertha demanded, looking right in their wide eyes. Both of the saloon singers nodded enthusiastically.
"Yes! Yes! We have learned our lesson, Miss Bertha!' they stammered. "We promise to never flirt with your husband again!" They breathed out a sigh of relief when the big woman started to turn away.
But then Bertha turned back to them with a mean look in her eye.
"Y'know, just to be sure you two sluts remember..." she said, then let fly with a fist under each chin of the girls. Dolly and Molly gave a little yelp and fell backwards off the stage to land face-up, side-by-side on the saloon floor. They lay there a moment, moaning and holding their aching jaws, until they looked up to see Big Bertha launching her massive frame off the stage onto their outstretched bodies.
"NOOOOOO!!!" they both screamed in terror. But it was too late. Bertha came down on them like a tidal wave and landed across their mid-sections. Both girls blew out agonized gasps as all the breath in their bodies was mashed out by Bertha. Their heads raised up involuntarily but then fell back limp.
Bertha slowly climbed to her feet and surveyed the squashed saloon girls at her feet. "Damn right you'll never flirt with him again! How does it feel to be pancakes, you whores?" She glanced around. "Now where is the one they call Bunny? I have a bone to pick with her too!"
Back at the center of the saloon the Gunch sisters and Sheriff Joyce were still locked in battle with the rest of the saloon floozies. Hilda landed a hard right to Joyce's jaw which sent her sprawling. But when Rosita tried to leap on top of the prone blonde, Joyce pulled up her legs and caught the Mexican beauty right in the belly with both feet.
Rosita huffed as she was hurled back into her fellow saloon girls. Her head clonked against Molly and both were stunned for a moment.
Meanwhile Gretchen and Agatha had squared off in one of the fiercest fights of the day so far. Gretchen was as tall as Agatha but with her big boobs and butt she probably out-weighed the townswoman by 20 pounds. Still, Agatha was giving as good as she got thanks to her wiry muscles.
"Ach! Vy don't you cursed women get out?" Gretchen snarled, catching Agatha with a left jab but missing with a big right cross. Her blonde pigtails swirled around her pretty face and she grunted when the black-haired townswoman landed a punch to her ribs.
The tide of that battle turned when the German girl missed with a wild swing and Agatha closed in, pumping uppercuts to Gretchen's belly and boobs with machine gun rapidity.
"Uh - uh- uh - uh - UHHHH!" the blonde battler groaned as she stopped throwing punches and slowly bent forward under the relentless attack. "No - st-st-stop!" she winced. "No - no more! Please!" she begged.
But Agatha was in no mood to show mercy. She even stepped up the ferocity of her attack, cracking her bony fists against soft flesh until Gretchen could barely keep her feet.
Elviry was experiencing a similar result with the other German girl Hilda. By this time the rawboned townswoman had shredded Hilda's dress and corset and the slightly plump blonde was sniveling and begging for mercy.
"Can't you please stop?" Hilda whined. "You've beaten me - I surrender. Kamerad! Oh, please! My titties are aching sore! Please! I vant to quit!" she sobbed.
It was then that Elviry saw that her sister had triumphed over the other blonde. She smiled a wicked smile as a thought occurred to her.
"Hey, Aggie - remember what we did to those two whores in Dodge City that time?" she said and Agatha nodded eagerly. "Time for the Slut Slide!"
Elviry hoisted the wasted and half naked Hilda up on the bar at one end until the topless German floozie was sitting on the bar. Down at the other end Agatha lifted the weeping and also near naked Gretchen until she too was sitting on the bar. Then the Gunch sisters counted to three and let fly with two huge punches to the blondes' jaws. The haymakers were so hard the German girls slid to the middle of the bar where they collided, back to back, their heads making a sound like two coconuts banging together.
"Uuuuhhhh!" they both moaned. Then their whimpering ceased as they slumped over like two rag dolls, both out for the rest of the fight.
Back in the middle of the saloon Molly and Rosita were trying to gang up on the sheriff but Tiny stopped boob-bashing poor Bunny (who was a sobbing wreck by this time) and the small woman dashed over to help Joyce.
Rosita had grabbed Joyce from behind and was holding her arms to the side while Molly took aim at the sheriff. But at the very last second, Joyce slipped to one side and Molly's haymaker accidentally crashed into Rosita's pretty face. The Mexican girl let loose of the sheriff and staggered backwards, her big brown eyes crossing and uncrossing.
"Ai yi yi!" she murmured. Molly had really blasted her. And that wasn't the end of Rosita's bad luck. She suddenly let out an agonized gasp and doubled over as Tiny had landed a solid kick to her soft midsection.
Behind them, Joyce was teaching Molly the error of her ways. The slender but strong law officer landed blow after cracking blow to the buxom blonde's face and body. When she felt Molly was softened up sufficiently, she asked the wrecked saloon girl "So, are you ready to go beddy-bye, you nasty cow?"
Molly sobbed and whimpered but could only give a miserable nod, knowing what was coming. Joyce's next
punch caught her under the chin and launched her in the air. When Molly crashed to the floor she too was out for the rest of the battle.
Bunny saw her friend Molly sprawled unconscious on the floor and decided that, for her, this brawl was over. She slipped away and quietly edged away around the corner. But she got a terrible shock when a voice behind her said "Going somewhere, you big-titted cow?" Bunny tried to run but found that Bertha had a firm grip on her panties, the only thing she was still wearing.
"Oh, I am really going to enjoy this!" Bertha told the busty redhead as she grabbed the terrified Bunny and pulled her closer.
Back outside, Joyce was looking over the down and disabled saloon girls. She watched as Lucrezia slowly crawled across the floor toward the bar, all the while making tiny whimpering pain sounds. Tiny gave the helplessly weeping Rosita one more slap to the face then skittered across the floor to come up behind Lucrezia. She pulled her foot back and drove her hard leather shoe deep in between the black-haired vixen's legs.
Lu gave an indescribable sound and she shot forward until her head hit the heavy oak bar with a loud thunk. She said "ook!" one more time and again went limp.
Joyce drew her pistol, preparing to shoot into the ceiling and bring what remained of the battle to an end. But just then a blacksnake whip lashed out and snatched the gun from the sheriff's hand, sending it spinning across the room.
Joyce turned to see Debbie with the whip in her hand and an angry snarl on her face.
"Forgot about me, didn't you, skinny?" Debbie sneered at Joyce and cracked the whip again, this time lashing the blonde right on the seat of her tight blue jeans. Joyce yelped in pain and circled around trying to get away from the dangerous black leather whip.
Debbie cracked the whip at her foe several times, making Joyce cry out in pain. The third time, however, the sheriff managed to grab the end of the whip and she yanked it hard with both hands. Debbie was caught off-balance and staggered forward, right into a right cross from the blonde.
Then Joyce grabbed the whip from Deb's hand andquickly wrapped it around and around Debbie's trim waist and gave a powerful yank. The busty brunette, wearing high heeled shoes, a red bustier with a short dress and striped hose, went spinning across the slick wooden floor with a high-pitched squeal.
When she finally stopped spinning, Debbie's big boobs had popped free of the bustier and were swaying gently as she staggered drunkenly. She stared down at her exposed tits, shocked that the tide of battle had turned so quickly. She stammered out "Wha happened?" which was cut short when Joyce landed three cracking uppercuts to her chin.
The big brunette's eyes crossed and her legs wobbled. She had a confused look on her face and seemed to be trying to focus on the lithe, angry blonde woman who stood before her.
"Thought you and your whores who beat us and wind up running this town, did you?" Joyce demanded, grabbing the topless tramp by the shoulder and shaking her violently. Debbie's head shook up and down and her big blue eyes rolled wildly. "Wha? Wha?" she mumbled. Her confusion was only made worse when Joyce demonstrated her mastery of the bullwhip as she used it to cut Debbie's outfit to shreds.
Joyce tossed away the whip and continued her domination of the saloon owner with savage blows to her bare breasts. Debbie grunted, gasped and moaned as those big double D's were pounded into jelly by the angry blonde.
"Waaahhh! Muh titties! You're beating 'em flat! Please, I give up! No more! No mooorrreeee!" Debbie wailed. She was completely unravelled by this point, eyes rapidly swelling and her lip trinkling blood from one corner. Her breasts were a bright shade of red from the pounding the blonde had been giving them.
"But just then Bertha spoke up. She was holding a limp and beaten Bunny up by her red hair, another casualty of the "Battle at the Double D".
"Please, Sheriff! Give us a chance at her - after all, she has been behind all the trouble in town. We deserve a shot at her too!"
Joyce shrugged and gave a little grin. "Well, I suppose you're right. You ladies have been through a lot thanks to Miss Cow Tits here. But I don't want you killing her! You can each have one crack at her!"
Debbie shook her head. "No! No! You can't let them have me! You have to put me in jail! Please, Sheriff Joyce! Please!"
All the pleading fell on deaf ears, though, as Joyce gave the disheveled brunette a shove in the direction of the waiting and eager townswomen.
Bertha released Bunny, who flopped like a dead fish to the floor, her big bare boobs breaking her fall. Then Big Bertha gave Debbie a mighty blow to the face followed by a "belly bump", sending her staggering over to stand between the Gunch sisters.
"What do you think, Aggie? Time for the Gunch Crunch?" Elviry asked with a wicked grin. Aggie nodded gleefully. Then the two harpies, one on either side of the beaten saloon keeper, wound up good and landed simultaneous blows to Debbie's jaw.
"GUUURRRRKK!" Debbie croaked as the two hard fists slammed into both sides of her face. She stood there motionless for a second, almost smiling, then her legs began to wobble. That was when Tiny strolled up in front of the wrecked woman and landed a final, devastating kick to the crotch. Her "cunt punt" made Debbie's eyes cross. "I think I need to lie down for a bit" Debbie sighed softly, her eyes crossing and uncrossing. Then with a final "Ooooohhh!" the once-proud saloon madam started to fall. But before she could fold, Joyce got in one final tremendous right under the pulverized woman's chin.
Debbie actually shot into the air where she landed face down on the wooden swing. Her limp body hung dejectedly on the equipment, rocking back and forth as the piano played a final chorus of "Good Night Ladies."
Joyce dusted off her hands and took a long look around the room. The battles were all definitely over and things were quiet, apart from an occasional moan, sob or groan. The saloon girls were strewn all over the floor, tables, chairs and bar. "Ladies - it's time to clean this place up for good! Any of these bitches still wearing clothes - strip 'em! Then we'll give all the folks outside a show!"
Her cohorts didn't need any more urging. They fell to the task of stripping all the saloon girls of what was left of their fancy dresses and corsets. Within a few minutes there was one pile of torn clothing and another pile of naked and spent women.
Then the limp and beaten girls were taken outside and hung facedown over several hitching posts. Tiny dashed over to her dress shop and returned with several pairs of scissors. "Ladies, I think these whores need a good haircut!" she said with a grin, handing out the scissors to the other women, who got busy cutting the incapacitated women's long hair.
Even though they cried and begged, the defeated saloon girls were shorn of their lovely locks as piles of black, brown, blonde and red hair piled up on the dusty town street. When they were finished the victorious townswomen finally allowed their victims to get to their still-wobbly feet. Tiny even provided some hand-held mirrors so the losers could view their new hair-dos.
Debbie and Bunny stared in horror at the images looking back at them from the mirror. "Oh, god, I'm almost bald!" Debbie wailed. "And I look like a plucked chicken!" the busty little tramp screeched.
Amidst much weeping and sobbing, the beaten, naked women were lined up in front of their conquerors.
"Now, it's time for you whores to get out of Tumbleweed for good. Any of you want to disagree, now's to time to do something about it!" Joyce lectured the wrecked group of saloon tramps.
"My saloon - my money...!"Debbie babbled, still punch drunk."What's going to happen to us?"
"You're leaving town with whatever you have on you!" Sheriff Joyce told her with a big grin. (The saloon girls were all naked, so that did not amount to much!) "You were caught cheating and running a house of ill repute, so the saloon and funds inside are confiscated. Now start marching - or do you want to go another round?"
That got some terrified whimpers and frantic head shakes from the girls. Eventurally they found themselves lined up and marching out of town. Their shorn heads and shoulders hanging down rejectedly, they limped slowly down the street.
"It's 13 miles to the next town, you ugly bitches!" someone yelled at them. "I'd walk a little faster if I were you!" That drew laughter from the townswomen but the men secretly mourned the loss of the beautiful floozies.
And thus the "Batlle of the Double D" faded into the history of the Old West.