Summer Slut Slam

BY DARK CLOUD

The capacity crowd’s fervour dies immediately that the satanic notes of Elizabeth Hurley’s entrance music hits. She steps through the curtain and poses alone at the top of the ramp to a chorus of loud boos. The English actress in clad in her usual attire of a bright red catsuit and she just smirks at her reception and slinks her way towards the ramp as she is introduced. The crowd are very interested in this opening match to this PPV extravaganza as it will mark the first time Miss Hurley has stepped in the ring in a singles match and it’s also interesting to note that she’s not accompanied by either of her followers, Keira Knightly or Emma Watson.

A hot, Latino number hits the speakers just as the English beauty enters the ring and bouncing her way down to the ring is Elizabeth’s opponent, Modern Family star, Sofia Vergara. The Columbian former model turned actress is clad in a form fitting black, two piece swimsuit that amply supports her impressive breasts. Sofia slaps hands on the way to the ring with the audience which is firmly behind her before climbing to the outside of the ring and staring angrily at her opponent. These two women have clashed in one form or another at the previous two PPV’s and now they will finally clash one on one to open the Summer’s hottest superstar catfighting event.

As the ref gives his instructions Elizabeth maintains a cool, mocking exterior while Sofia can barely stay still, she’s like a wild animal pacing up and down the ring and is clearly primed to explode. And when the bell finally sounds the Colombian charges her English opponent and barrels her back into a corner and unleashes a barrage of chops and slaps. Faced with that frontal assault Elizabeth calmly stepped one leg through the ropes and pointed out to the referee that she was ‘in the ropes’.

“OK Break! Break! Break damn you!”

Sofia was so fired up that the referee had to physically pull her away from the ropes and Elizabeth and Sofia looked fit to swing for him too. She turned back just in time to see Miss Hurley step all the way through the ropes and drop to the floor and saunter away smugly. Enraged Sofia pushed the ref aside and swiftly moved through the ropes and chased after her foe. As she caught up though and dragged Liz round to face her the crafty English bitch reached her claws up and raked them across Sofia’s face, temporarily blinding her. Then she drove her boot to her gut, doubling her over before slamming the Colombian’s forehead into the mat. She went for a second one though and Sofia got her arms out to block the impact and then fired off an elbow into Liz’s gut.

Sofia then grabbed her and shoved her back against the metal crowd barrier and dished out a series of vicious chops whose effectiveness were questionable given Liz’s catsuit. But by unbuttoning the neck and yanking down the zip Sofia exposed some nice creamy flesh and then proceeded to lash in some chops on Liz’s flesh that definitely hurt her by her pained reactions.

“Get it in the ring!”

Demanded the ref who had let things go (as he was instructed to) but knew this was not a stipulation match and needed to get back in the ring. Scowling at him Sofia dragged Liz off the barrier by her hair and roughly shoved her under the bottom rope. Sofia followed her in and immediately jerked Liz up to her knees and then up into a suplex that slammed the English actress to her back in centre ring. That garnered a two count as Sofia covered and she again dragged Liz up by her long hair, this time to Irish whip her ferociously into the corner turnbuckle, slamming her spine into the corner. Sofia followed it up with a charge into the corner to squash her foe, pushing her huge tits into Elizabeth’s face and rubbing them in there to great humiliation. The crowd loved that and cheered even louder when Sofia moved back, allowed Liz to stagger out of the corner then nailed her with a smashing bulldog headlock. That got another two count and it seemed all the momentum was with the Modern Family star.

That near fall though, brought out Elizabeth Hurley’s two minions, Junior Heavyweight Champion Emma Watson and Keira Knightly. Seeing the two upper class, snobby bitches descend the ramp the crowd booed vociferously as they anticipate outside interference from the English actresses. So too does Sofia Vergara and she gets up and points at them to the referee, ignoring Elizabeth for the moment but she’s not quite that dumb because as Liz rises behind her and prepares to strike while Sofia is distracted, Sofia ducks her effort and in an instant hooks on a sleeper hold in centre ring!

Seeing their leader in trouble increases Emma and Keira’s pace but as they reach the ringside area a figure leaps from the crowd, jumps to the top of the crowd barrier and springs off to nail them with a flying double clothesline! As she springs to her feet we can see it’s Sarah Hyland who has a guaranteed title match with Emma at the next PPV with the most insane stipulation attached – loser will be left for 24 hours in a safe house with 3 newly released convicted sex offenders!.

While the ref exits the ring to try and clear all these women away Sofia’s cinches on her sleeper even tighter and feeling Elizabeth Hurley go limper in her arms. Then she feels a tap on her shoulder and swings round to see her co-star and sometimes partner, Julie Brown standing there. Sofia gives her a grin that the blonde returns as she brings her arms up holding a metal chair then crashes down of the Colombian’s forehead!

As both Sofia and Liz collapse to the canvas angry blonde Julie leans over and spits on Sofia before stripping off her bikini to leave her nude in centre ring. There had always been signs that Sofia’s superior looks, popularity and tits had irked Julie Bowen and now we know for sure. She slips out of the ring the way she came in as security is ushering Sarah, Emma and Keira up the ramp. In the ring Liz Hurley is just back to sitting up and rubbing her neck as she sees her foe laid out. With a cruel smile Liz knows what she wants to do next and zips her catsuit down further to reveal her own (not so ample as Sofia’s) cleavage.

Liz then straddle’s Sofia’s chest and brings her head up and smothers it in between her own breasts! What a humiliation for Sofia, Mistress of the breast smother being put out to one from an opponent with tits that can barely compare. Liz keeps the pressure on but in truth there’s little need as Sofia’s brains are scrambled from the chair shot. The final humiliation takes place as Sofia ends up weakly tapping on Elizabeth’s side to submit but Elizabeth keeps the hold locked on and you can actually see the point at which Sofia passes out as her arms go limp and flop to her sides.

Liz eventually gets to her feet and triumphantly places a foot on Sofia’s chest and has the referee raise her hand in victory.

The winner in 7:14 is ELIZABETH HURLEY.

*
Backstage and a very smug looking Jennifer Aniston is being interviewed by Carmen Electra. The former Friends star and now affirmed movie star sneered at her introduction from the model then snatched the microphone out of Carmen’s hand.

“Give me that you talentless bimbo.”

Carmen, after her destruction at the hands of Lena Headey at the last two PPV’s was in no mood to argue and backed off as Jen glowered at her then face the camera.

“I’ve got a little movie for you all and especially for you Courtney, so watch closely because you never know when this may be you.”

With a cocky click of her fingers, Jennifer’s beautiful visage fades from the screen and we the picture changes to an outdoor recording from earlier that week. Jennifer Aniston gets out of a car holding a large bunch of flowers. She smirks at the camera as she struts up a path towards a nice house. Holding the flowers up in front of her face she rings the bell. We wait a moment then hear a thud, thud and the door opens and we see it is Kaley Cuoco answering. Her leg is in plaster and she’s using a crutch. Not realising it’s her former partner Kaley coos at the flowers and bends forward to smell them. As she does so Jennifer fires a punch through the flowers and right into the blondes face!

The attack was so unexpected and with her balance not very good because of her broken leg, Kaley topples like a tree being cut. Jen dumps the flowers on the ground and steps up to stamp viciously on Kaley’s cast which elicits a pained howl from the blonde. Jen then drags her foe out of her house by her leg and lifts it up only to ram it down on the stone step leading up to the door. Then Jen grabs the discarded crutch and kneels over Kaley and forces the crutch into her throat and chokes her as she goads her face to face. Then to finish up Jennifer drags Kaley to her feet and hooks her head under her arm then drops her down with a devastating DDT on her own front steps! Kaley is completely out of it and lays spread out on her own front step as Jennifer picks up some flowers then stuffs them in the unmoving blondes mouth.

The scene comes back to the present and Jennifer Aniston grinning to the camera as the crowd in the arena boo the hell out of her.

“Courteney ,when people cross me they pay a steep penalty. You’re next.”

*
As we go back to the arena the first three competitors in the six woman tag are in the ring already. Sit com sluts Whitney Cummins, Beth Behrs and Kat Dennings are all clad in black two piece bikinis and ready for there debuts in the Federation but they still don’t know their opponents full line up. They had challenged backstage interviewer Kim Kardashian to get a team together for this match and busty brunette Kim now stands at the top of the entrance ramp, in a white one piece with microphone in hand, ready to introduce her partners. Initially it had been though maybe it would be Kim’s fellow bakstage interviewers Lindsay Lohan and Carmen Electra, or maybe even Kim’s dumb sisters but neither guess would be correct.

“Alright everyone, I want you to stand and cheer for my first partner, she is Paris Hilton!”

That announcement was greeted with a pretty loud chors of boo’s and catcalls. The dim-witted blonde airhead was not anybody’s favourite. Not that she knew it though, she came out blew the crowd kisses then hugged and snogged Kim in the most fake, false way imaginable. With that underwhelming announcement out of the way Kim resumed her introduction.

“And our other partner is …Pamela Anderson!!”

Well that was certainly unexpected. And gains a large cheer from the crowd, Pamela is a legend in the celebrity catfighting circuit and was dominant in other now defunct federations. The blonde is looking a bit older then before but is in her Baywatch red bikini and she marches down the ramp as the crowd cheer her. In the ring Beth and Whitney are shocked at this turn of events while Kat Dennings is standing centre ring, her big chest thrust out almost in a challenge to Pamela’s. Pam ran the last ten yard and slid under the ring ropes and sprang up and immediately started trading heavy punches with Kat while the bell rang.

The crowd were really into this exchange as the two top heavy beauties traded punches and slaps rapidly for fifteen seconds or so until Pamela hits a kick to Kat’s gut, doubles her over then snares her head between her thighs and hoists her up then smashes her down in a ring shuddering Blonde Bombshell Bomb, her trademark move from her heyday. The crowd love that and Kat is left limp on the mat. Seeing her partner laid out Beth charges into the ring but gets met with a boot to her gut immediately and a second huge powerbomb, this time being slammed down on her back on top of Kat!

Pam is standing tall and Kim and Paris haven’t even made it to the ring yet. Whitney meantime has clambered to the top rope and fires off a missile dropkick and Pamela Anderson but she just side steps it and the skinny brunette crashed to the mat hard. Pam lifts her up the hoists her into powerbomb position but this time she is by the ropes and in one big heave launches Whitney over the ropes so she crashes to the floor in an unbelievable bump from the powerbomb. Pam then places her foot on Kat Denning’s groaning face and the ref counts to three to end this squash.

Outside the ring Kim Kardashian has pulled her bikini briefs to one side and reversed her ass towards where Paris Hilton has pulled Whitney Cummins face up to then Paris shoves Whitney right into Kardashian’s asshole and rubs it in there. In the ring Pamela Anderson watches with a detached amusement at her partners antics, she was back in competitive catfighting because of their invite but she had no real love towards either.

Your winners in 0:56 are KIM KARDSAHIAN, PARIS HILTON and PAMELA ANDERSON>

*

Lindsay Lohan is back in her proper position backstage after the hellacious beating she took last month when backing her fellow interviewer Carmen Electra. Looks like these dumb bimbos have learned their lessons and are back to sticking to what they are good at – looking slutty and holding a microphone. This time the blonde is holding the stick as a serious looking Jennifer Love Hewitt stands behind it staring into the camera.

“Jen, this is going to be your first time in a wrestling ring since the Main Event of Bitchmania. A match that could have seen you leave as World Champion but instead saw you leave beaten, bloodied and shaved bald all thanks to the interference of one Eliza Dushku. Tonight you are facing Eliza and the word is that the winner of this match will receive a world title match at the next PPV. What are your thoughts going into this match?”

JLH stares at Lindsay and then into the camera. She runs her hand through her regrown hair and flicks it.

“You know hair grows back. Cuts can be healed (at this she lifts her fringe to show the scars from the brutal barbed wire match at Bitchmania on her forehead). And now I get another chance to get the World Title. All I’ve got to do is beat you Eliza. That’s all. It’s going to be my fucking pleasure!”

*

A video then runs that details the events leading up to the next match pitting Jennifer Aniston against her former friend Courteney Cox. We see Cox supporting Jen in her long, bitter feud with Angelina Jolie. Then we see Jennifer turning on Kaley Cuoco then crippling the Big Bang Theory actress and Courteney’s attempts to save her only for Jennifer to turn viciously on her and set the stage for this clash.
As the video fades to black music hits and through the curtain struts a very confident and cocky looking Jennifer Aniston, to a chorus of vehement boos. The former fan favourite is fast becoming the most hated woman in the Federation and looks like she loves it. She tosses her light brown, long hair contemptuously and strides down the ramp, she’s wearing real trailer trash clothing – a white wife beater vest and short denim shorts. She’s only half way down the ramp though when her opponent explodes out from the curtain behind her and charges down the ramp and nails Jenifer with a hard clothesline from behind! Courteney is dressed in a sexy black, shiny two piece bikini and looks as angry as hell.

Aniston took a wicked bump from the clothesline and flew forward and fell the remainder of the way down the ramp to land hard at ringside. Jen is stunned by this unexpected assault and gets no chance to recover as Cox straddles her and starts to pound in a series of hard punches as the crowd cheer her on. The referee is imploring them to get in the ring so that they can properly start while the ring announcer can see he’ll not be used in this match so drops out of the ring to his seat.

After ten punches Courteney raises her arms and gets acclaim from the crowd, then she gets up and drags Jennifer up to her feet by her hair and viciously Irish whips her into the metal crowd barrier, slamming her spine right into it. Jennifer screams and bends her back from the impact but gets no chance to recover as Courteney charges in and clothelines Jen so that she flips right over the barrier and lands hard on her face in the front row of the crowd!

The crowd gets even rowdier as Courteney climbs over the barrier into the crowd and starts wailing away with punches on her former friend right in the middle of the pumped up throng. The ref is now leaning over the crowd barrier demanding they get in the ring, this isn’t a NO DQ or falls count anywhere match, but he can’t do much as the bout hasn’t officially started yet. The ref proves a slight distraction to Courteney though and the opportunistic Miss Aniston takes the chance to jab her finger into Courteney’s eye and as she reaches up to cover up Jen escapes through the crowd and literally crawls over the barrier and under the bottom rope and finally the referee signals for the bell to ring. Courteney recovers quickly enough and is in the ring not far behind Jennifer. Jen, on her knees, begs off looking for clemency but gets none as Cox fires a kick to Jen’s gut then drags her up by her hair and whips her into the ropes only to nail her with a knee to the gut as she rebound back at her. There is no respite for the hell though as Cox hauls her up once again and whips her into the corner. Then she stalks in after her and unleashes an inhuman knife edge chop that echoes throughout the arena. Jennifer calls out but is shut up by a second chop, then a third and a fourth and finally a fifth, after which Aniston falls forward flat on her face. This time when Courteney goes to pick her up she also tugs at her vest and easily pulls it up and over Jennifer’s head leaving Miss Aniston topless and the crowd able to properly see the red marks on her chest where the chops hit home. She backs her back into the corner and fires in more hard knife edge chops, this time to Jennifer’s bare skin and you can actually see it turning redder and redder.

With the crowd counting along Courteney took a moment to acknowledge them before climbing up the turnbuckles to stand on the middle one and pound punch after punch to her former friend’s forehead, each one counted by the throng. But as she reached nine Jen somehow found the strength to hook her arms around Courteney’s thighs, headbutt her in the gut then push up and forward and turn her position into a powerbomb and drop her dark haired foe hard on her back in centre ring, suddenly turning the tide on what had been a one sided slaughter up to then. Slowly Jen crawled over and covered Courteney but only gained a one count before she kicked out. Now with an advantage Jen heaved herself to her feet and dragged her foe up by her hair and instantly hooked her head then dropped down with a quick DDT that smashed Courteney’s skull into the canvas. Only then did it seem to dawn on Jennifer that she was topless and in a fit of anger she reached down and tore off Courteney’s bra top and panties leaving the raven haired beauty naked bar her black boots. Throwing away her outfit Jen then stamped the hell out of her body before holding her finger over one nostril and purposefully blowing the contents of the other nostril over Courteney’s face.
If the crowd hated her before (and they did) they hated her even more after that low act. Jen just smirked nastily and placed the sole of her boot on Courteney’s forehead and then ground it down before lifting it up then stamping down. Courteney groaned and rolled onto her front to cover up but Jen just straddled her back, grabbed her hair and proceeded to rub her face harshly into the canvas, back and forth with obvious glee. Finished (for now) with the humiliation moves Aniston pulled her foe up by her hair so that she was kneeling in centre ring, then took off across the ring, bounced off the ropes and returned delivering a fast, low drop kick to Courteney’s face.

Jen was all business now and quickly lifted her opponent up and then slammed her down across her knee in a backbreaker. Jen casually extended her arms to press against Courteney’s chin and thigh so that she could exert further pressure on it until the dark haired girl was bent in an unnatural position. Again it was Jennifer Aniston that brought them to their feet, and this time she looped an arm over her shoulder and hoisted Miss Cox in the air, held her then dropped back with a bone shaking suplex. The cover that followed was lazy and disrespectful but still garnered a two count before Cox rolled her shoulder up. That didn’t bother Jen though, she just kicked her foe over onto her front then dropped her knee right into her spine then followed up by straddling Courteney’s back and hooking her arms over her knees and then lacing her hands under Courteney’s chin locking on a pretty much perfect Camel Clutch move.

It made for quite the image as a topless Jennifer Aniston leaned back and strained every muscle in her arms while a naked Courteney Cox suffered from this back breaking move. Jen goaded her and insulted her and demanded that she give up and submit but Cox shook her head and denied it and finally after two excrutiating minute in the manoeuvre Jennifer finally broke it and stood up. Courteney was down and seemingly out almost seven minutes of domination and no offense had turned this contest entirely in Jennifer’s direction and she only added to that by pulling Courteney to her feet and Irish whipping her into first one corner turnbuckle but following her in then whipping her right the way across to the opposite one. As the brunette staged out from the corner Jen hoisted her up and body slammed her in the ring then slowly ascended the turnbuckles for a high risk manoeuvre.

Once up there she got distracted jawing with some vociferous fans at ringside and that delay cost her because Courteney somehow made it to her feet and fell into the ropes, destabilising Jennifer’s feet and seeing her drop down hard and crotch herself on the metal coupling for the turnbuckle. With the crowd roaring her on Courteney found a second wind and scrambled up the ropes, hooked Jennifer’s arm over her shoulder and popped her up and dropped backwards for a huge superplex that splatted both babes in centre ring. Courteney made a slow cover but still very nearly took the count as Jen just kicked out as the ref’s hand came down for the three. Courteney made it up first and drove a knee to her opponents gut then as Jen bent forward she hooked her arms and jumped up and dropped Jennifer’s face into the canvas in a Pedigree style move. A cover followed and gained a three count but Jennifer had stretched her long legs and sprawled them over the bottom rope.

Thinking she had won Cox leapt up but the ref had to pull her back and explain and as he did so Jennifer made it to her knees and absolutely hammered an uppercut right between Courteney’s unsuspecting legs!

It is a real judgement call for the referee but in the end he waves the action on, the new owner (whoever she is) has sent out a mandate that there should be as few DQ finishes as possible, particularly in the bigger matches on the card. So he warns Jennifer but allows the action to continue. Cox is now on the mat rolling about in agony and Aniston smiles as she grabs her ankles and prizes them apart then stamps down hard
‘Accidentally’ missing Courteney’s thigh and connecting with her cunt. Jen held her heel in there and ground down hard while the ref tried to see if it was legal or not with Aniston shifting her position continually to deny him. When she finally stepped off it was to drag Courteney’s legs towards a corner and then to drop out of the ring but continue to drag those legs around the ring post. Everyone can see what she’s going to do but no one stops her, finally giving Courteney’s ankles one last, sharp drag to crotch her foe on the pole, then she just pulls on those ankles cruelly torturing her former friend. On the count of four Jen releases the hold and flips the finger at some of the fans behind her that have been giving her grief, only to then turn back and grab Courteney’s ankles and crotch her again, painfully on the ringpost. But when Jennifer went for the move a third time Cox surprisingly pulled her knees forward and taken unexpectedly Aniston flew forward and smacked her head against the metal ringpost. As she clung to the post, dazed, Cox pulled her legs up then shot them out again sending Jennifer flying across the ringside area and crashing into the metal crowd barrier.

With the crowd solidly behind her Courteney struggles under the bottom rope and limps over to her opponent to follow up her counter attacks but as she reaches down to pick Jen up she’s hit with yet another low blow, this time another uppercut to her crotch as Courteney suffers from that blow Jennifer gets up, hooks her arm, hoists her in suplex position then drops her squarely on the metal crowd barrier with her cunt taking yet another vicious shot as she lands. With the referee still counting Jennifer Aniston rolls back into the ring and sits smirking as Courteney Cox is finally counted out.

The winner, by countout in 16:55 id JENNIFER ANISTON. And Jen lets the referee raise her hand before slipping from the ring, grabbing a folding chair and running at Courteney and smashing a chair shot off her skull, knocking her out and knocking her off the crowd barrier and slipping unconscious into the crowd. Jen hoists the chair aloft and soaks in the loud chorus of boos and catcalls she is greeted with as she stalks away from the ring.

*
Backstage, and Carmen Electra has some breaking news.

“This just in. Nicki Minaj was involved in a road traffic accident this very morning and has been ruled out of her match up against Cameron Diaz later tonight.”

At that point a very happy looking Cameron Diaz, Charlize Theron and Sharon Stone walk on screen and surround Carmen. Charlize grabs the microphone.

“Ha! These dumb niggers will do anything to avoid facing us one on one, won’t they? They are all brave when they attack in a gang after we have been in a hard match but look at them chicken out now. Well Cameron, I am sure you will strut down to the ring later and take the 10 count and show the world what fucking cowards they are.”

The blondes laugh and chuckle at this but then their faces go deadly serious as Beyonce, Rihanna and Nicole Sherzinger enter the area and stand across from them. A clearly agitated Rihanna grabs the microphone from Charlize Theron’s hand and speaks with barely supressed anger.

“You racist bitches better not have had anything to do with Nicki’s accident. But one thing is for sure you are not getting a free ride tonight, so I will take Nicki’s palce, that is unless you are a yellow bellied chicken, bitch!”

And with that she thumps the mic back at Cameron in her gut and the three black girls walk off. It looks like we have a change to our advertised match later on tonight.

*

Cut to another area and Lindsay Lohan interviewing Jennifer Aniston after her countout win.

“Jennifer Aniston, you can’t be happy with such a hollow victory, you didn’t even…”

Lindsay gets cut off as Jen grabs the mic from her.

“Shut up you no-talent smack head. What the fuck do you know? I won that match and I’m moving on now, I’ve beaten Kaley and Courteney in successive PPV’s so I demand a World Title match, if a no-mark like Scarlett can get a shot then why can’t I? I mean…aaaarghhh!!!”

Jennifer gets dropped by a chair shot to her skull from behind. The camera pans up to show a naked, panting Courteney Cox standing holding the chair. She throws the chair on her rival and points at her.

“This is not over bitch. Not nearly over.”

*
Next to come to the ring for a tag match stemming from the last PPV are two young brunettes that faced each other just a month ago – Katie Holmes and Mila Kunis. Both slim Hollywood actresses walk down to ringside wearing matching black one piece swimsuits, which in Katie’s case is amazing given the extreme bump she suffered at the end of her loss to Mila where Kate Beckinsale handcuffed Katie before Nicole Kidman grabbed her and chucked her off the stage and through a table below. Both Kate and Nicole had been after the bounty placed on Katie’s head by Scientologists and it was the Australian blonde Nicole that collected. Now Katie and Mila (who was blasted by a cattle prod by Kate after her match) are being given a shot at revenge on their attackers.

Their opponents come out separately, with Kate Beckinsale out first, wearing a white two piece bikini. She looks and is very confident of a squash of these two little troublemakers. But that look quickly turns to one of concern when after twenty seconds of Nicole’s music playing there is no sign of the Australian. They replay it and re-announce Nicole but there is no sign of her and after a minute or so the referee comes to the announcer and speaks in his ear.

“Ladies and gentleman, if Nicole Kidman does not come to the ring then the referee will have no choice but to declare the match forfeit to Katie Holmes and Mila Kunis.”

Kate is not happy at that and grabs the ref by his shirt and berates him angrily, leaning to the announcers adding.

“Kate Beckinsale has agreed for this to be a handicap match, 2 on 1.”

So a furious Kate Beckinsale feels she has to take this situation on and she gets things off to a bad start by charging at Katie as the bell rings. Miss Holmes ducking and Mila leaping up wrapping her supple thighs around Kate’s head and then falling back sharply with a frankensteiner type move that slams Beckinsale’s skull into the canvas before she scrambles her way out under the ropes all shaken up. She doesn’t get any peace out there though as Katie Holmes runs across the ring and slides under the bottom rope and hits a baseball slide that nails Beckinsale and sends her flying, slamming on her side on the entrance ramp. While Kate reels from that Mila Kunis has climbed the turnbuckles and stand precariously on the top rope and once Kate makes it up to her feet Mila jumps off and nails her with a flying crossbody block that slams both women onto the ramp while the crowd cheer like crazy.

Amidst this chaos the referee gets hold of Katie Holmes and demands she go to her corner and hold the tag rope, trying to get this match back in some sort of order. While Katie complies Mila drags Kate up and shoves her back into the ring and then climbs the ropes and springboards in with a legdrop right across her foe’s throat and covers for a two count. Picking Kate up by her perfect hair Mila whips her into the ropes and leaps up with another flying head scissors but as she leans back to flip her foe Kate blocks it, hoists Mila up and then drops her with a high powerbomb, slamming her right into the mat. Kate staggers to her feet but even then she is upright before Mila has even moved and Katie seeing her partner in trouble shouts to her, begging her to get up and make the tag. Kate just smirks and measures a few vicious stamps to the younger actress’s head, then mounts her, punches her and grinds her forearm into Mila’s face.

Kate is furious with how this evening has gone so far and determined that someone will pay for it. As the ref warns her Kate snarls at him and gets up dragging Mila with her by her hair, only to stomp her in the gut, doubling her over into the perfect position to nail her with a snap DDT spiking her head into the canvas. She rolls over into the cover and gets a two before Katie Holmes reaches out, grabs her ankle and pulls her off her partner.

That just increases Miss Beckinsale’s anger and she curses as the referee ushers Holmes back to her corner. Grabbing Mila’s ankles Kate pulls them apart then stamps down with a low blow that makes Mila cry out and roll on the canvas covering her cooch. Kate flips her hair and reaches down to hook Mila up again and this time nails her with a delayed suplex. She stands over her foe and looks to be about to cover her when she sprints across the ring and slams into Katie Holmes sending her flying off the apron and slamming her side into the crowd barrier.

In the ascendency Kate Beckinsale has a decision to make and she doesn’t hesitate – she slides under the ropes and follows Katie’s path, charging her with a forearm smash once she gets there, then thundering her knee right into Katie’s gut. In the ring the referee is counting Kate Beckinsale out as Mila slowly gets to her feet groggily. Stupidly once she see the action outside the ring Mila climbs the ropes and leaps off, aiming at Kate from behind but Kate saw her coming and side steps to let Mila slam, hard into her partner.

Beckinsale is in complete control now and whales away on both her foes with punches and hard forearms outside the ring before rolling first Katie then Mila under the ropes and into the ring. Kate rolls in after them and after mockingly raising her arms in triumph and receiving a chorus of boos she smiles, lifts Mila up in a powerbomb then slams her down right across Katie’s stomach. Then she places her foot atop the pile of limbs and bodies and demands a count from the ref.

ONE…TWO… THR---No!

Somehow Katie Holmes raises her arm and breaks the contemptuous cover. That fairly pissed Kate off and she kicked Mila’s carcass out of the way and dragged Katie to her feet by her hair and jammed her open hand into her throat and grabbed it then lifted her up for a chokeslam. But as she went to finish the manoeuvre Katie leapt up too and wrapped her legs around Kate’s arm and brought her down and smoothly into an arm breaker move. As Kate writhed and tried desperately to escape Mila got up and seeing the situation slapped on a second arm breaker on her free arm from the other side!

Kate was in agony but the referee saved her by trying to bring some sort of order to the match and demanding Katie Holmes exit the ring. Reluctantly Holmes released her hold and stepped through the ropes and when Kate wriggled to her side and hooked the bottom rope with her ankles Mila had to break her hold too. Still the momentum had changed and Mila quickly tagged Katie in and the tall star stamped Kate a few times before whipping her into the ropes and nearly taking her head off with a clothesline. Katie then lifted Kate up in a double chicken wing, with Kate’s arms held, locked straight and it clearly hurt her a lot. After moving around the ring Katie stood with her back to her corner and Mila tagged in slapping her shoulder while Katie held her up. Mila climbed to the top turnbuckle, stood there and positioned her knee right behind Kate Beckinsale’s head and at a call from Mila, Kaite fell forward simultaneously Mila jumped forward and the end result was Kate Beckinsale’s face being driven into the canvas with Mila Kunis’s knee ramming in behind it knocking the Underworld star spark out!
From there it was simplicity itself for Mila to roll her over and get a three count and the win.
Your winners MILA KUNIS and KATIE HOLMES in 8:21. As they skip away happily Kate Beckinsale slowly recovers and fumes, her anger especially reserved for the bitch that had not shown up and, in her mind, cost her this embarrassing loss.
*

We are then introduced to a new tag team that will surely soon challenge for the World Tag Team belts.. Lindsay Lohan builds the suspense then invites BRITNEY SPEARS and MILEY CYRUS.

Both Southern blondes are at their trashiest, sounding and looking and their accents are so thick it’s hard to follow them but the gist of their interview is that they are coming in to kick some stuck up bitches ass and they’ll be watching the cage match later that night to see which team they’ll be beating real soon.

It looks like Team Trailer Trash has arrived in the promotion and will be looking to make an immediate impact next month.
*

And now to one of the feature bouts of the PPV. A blood feud a couple of months in the making and with real bad feelings on either side. As an added bonus the winner of this match will automatically be granted a World Title match at the next PPV.

First up we have a video recap showing Eliza Dushku costing Jennifer Love Hewitt the title back at Bitchmania, then JLH being shaved bald and then Eliza’s attack on a weakened Jennifer at the last PPV before showing brief highlights of Eliza so nearly taking the title herself in the Main Event and then attacking Sarah Michelle Gellar after the match and busting her wide open before Alyson Hannigan saved her friend. The point clearly being that Eliza is making enemies at a real quick rate.

And, indeed, Eliza does not look like she gives a fuck as she stalks to the ring in a black, two piece bikini to a wall of boos and catcalls. She looks like she knows something the plebs don’t and flashes a shit eating grin as she slides into the ring and lounges casually in a corner waiting on her opponent.

JLH emerges from the curtain and stands on the ramp to a huge cheer. She has a short, red, boxers robe on and with the hood up we can’t see her face or her hair. Dramatically she shrugs it back and reveals her hair is well on it’s way back to full, lustrous length and she’s sporting a look of sheer venom focussed on her opponent in the ring. She rushed down the ramp and flings off her robe to reveal a scarlett coloured, skimpy two piece as she slides under the bottom rope.

Eliza is on her in an instant and the two are swapping heavy punches straight away as the ring announcer bails’ and the referee signals for the bell to start this grudge match. What an opening minute as the two brunette beauties trade blows with no thought towards defence, each slug to their opponents face is countered by one in return until finally Jen gets the advantage and is firing in three uninterrupted punches and just when she rears back for a fourth Eliza reaches out and scratches her face to break her momentum.

The fans registered their disapproval but a bitch like Eliza Dushku could give a fuck what they think and wastes no time following up her underhand tactic with a well-placed boot to Jen’s gut then nailing her with a snap suplex. Her cover that followed was as pointless as it was short lived. Undeterred, Eliza gripped JLH by her hair and tossed her through the ropes to crash on her side on the hard, concrete floor before stepping out after her.

Poised on the apron Eliza waited until Jen made it to her feet before dropping a hard double axe handle blow right between her shoulders, which together with the effects of gravity knocked the wind out of Jen and drove her face first to the floor again. Eliza mounted her back, took a firm grip of her hair and proceeded to rub Jennifer’s beautiful face back and forth against the unforgiving concrete. When she finally relented she lifted Jen’s face up so the camera could see the damage and it was clear that Jen’s face was bruised and scraped as Eliza dragged her up to her feet, booted her in the gut then stepped around her head and tried for a piledriver on the concrete floor!

Thankfully for Jennifer she had enough about her to power up and flip her foe over her head and crash, hard, back first on the concrete. Then Jennifer dropped to her knees and caught her breath and as Eliza got up to her feet JLH pounced forward and slammed into her with a rib smashing spear that slammed both women hard into the far side crowd barrier.

That was a bone jarring collision for both bitches and the crowd loved it! As they both slowly recover the noise in the arena increases exponentially. It’s Jennifer to her feet first and she halts Eliza’s ascent with two powerful knees to her ribs before dragging her up and tossing her under the ropes and back into the ring, much to the referee’s delight

Jennifer picked up Eliza and rocked her with a bodyslam, before climbing to the second turnbuckle and delivering a splash quickly followed by a cover and a two count. But when she went to pull Eliza up after that Eliza gripped tightly to Jennifer’s bikini top and used it to pull Jennifer off balance and send her sprawling through the ropes and out to the outside again. And when Eliza stood up, still in her hand was that boulder holder, she had ripped off Jennifer Love Hewitt’s bra!

Jen doesn’t even register she is topless as she scrambles to her feet and up onto the apron, outside the ring. Eliza does though and reaches over the rope, snaps her fingers tightly onto JLH’s nipples then pushes into the ropes to shove her off the apron to drop to the floor only she is stopped by the tight hold on her tits! Jennifer howled as pain racked her chest, in the ring Eliza held on for all she was worth, pinching hard on the nips between her fingers and stretching Jennifer’s famous tits way beyond their limits. Just as it looked like Jennifer would start crying Eliza lost her grip and Jennifer dropped hard on her ass to the floor. Eliza smiled though, as was her modus operandi she had created a weakness on her opponent and had something to work on now. She had done the same in her title match last month, concentrating her attacks on Sarah Michelle Gellar’s cunt and it had so nearly gained her the World Belt. Now she had Jennifer Love Hewitt’s tits injured she was determined she would torture them on her way back to the World title picture.

Eliza slipped out of the ring and dropped a hard elbow drop to Jen’s chest then rolled her back into the ring. She positioned Jennifer on her back in centre ring and carefully stood on her hair then reached down, took a firm hold of Jen’s aching tits and pulled up on them with all her might, of course with her feet on her hair Jennifer could barely rise and again her teats were being cruelly stretched, this time in the centre of the ring.

“Give it up bitch or I’ll ruin your money makers!” snarled Eliza.

Jennifer shook her head and cried out no but she was in extreme pain here and didn’t know how long she could deal with it. Again Eliza pulled so hard that eventually her hands slipped off JLH’s ravished tits. Not that that deterred her, she took great pleasure in stamping down on Jen’s injured chest with repeated flat foot stamps. Tiring of that Eliza, now in full control, picked her opponent up, walked her over to the ropes and this time dragged her tits across the top rope inflicting as much rope burn as she could on them. She left Jennifer hanging on the ropes as she stepped back, bounced off the opposite ropes and absolutely levelled her with a hard clothes line that sent Jennifer tumbling over the top rope and crashing yet again to the floor. Eliza followed her out and then Irish whipped her face first into the metal crowd barrier. As Jennifer’s lifeless body slid down the barrier Eliza hopped over it and reached her hands through the metal barrier to grab her foe’s nipples yet again and, with her foot against the barrier she tugged with all her might, this time the metal barrier helping her to stretch Jennifer’s tits horrifically.

Jennifer was practically pleading for release by now but the ref could do little as the action wasn’t in the ring and Eliza seemed more than happy to torture her opponent right then. Help came from the audience as a figure stepped out of the crowd and flung a large cup of beer over Eliza, soaking both her and Jennifer. Eliza, shocked, released her death grip of JLH’s melons and turned to face her attacker. It was Alyson Hannigan and the red head just grinned at her before disappearing into the throng of cheering patrons before Eliza could take off after her. Cursing Eliza settled for punching Jennifer and dragging her back to the ring. She pushed her up onto the apron then got in the ring herself and set herself up to once again hang Miss Hewitt by her tits. But this time Eliza’s hands slipped on Jennifer’s wet breasts and as she struggled to grip them Jennifer reached up, cupped her head and dropped down of her own accord, driving Eliza’s throat right down onto the top rope!

As Jennifer nursed her tender teats and got to her feet Eliza Dushku was clearly in some considerable trouble, she was grabbing her hands at her throat and gasping and wheezing in a most distressed fashion. Not that many people in the arena cared. Certainly not her opponent who, upon re-entering the ring walked over and kicked her hands out of the way before dropping a leg drop across Eliza’s throat and hooking her leg for a nail bitingly close two count. Jen then lifted her foe up and dropped her with a swinging neck breaker before lifting her up and pulling her head right into her mammoth cleavage and synching in her vaunted breast smother. The crowd loved that, especially with Jennifer topless, seeing Eliza’s distressed face disappear into the soft folds of tit flesh. Jennifer pressed her foes face hard into her skin and held tight and you could visibly see Eliza weaken and sink into the move.

Finally, the referee lifted Eliza’s arm and watched as it slumped down lifeless first once then twice but as she lifted it for a third time Eliza managed to bunch her hand into a fist and pound it into Jennifer’s ribs! Fighting back Eliza thrust a knee up between Jennifer’s legs and then bounced off the ropes and charged at her opponent. But Jennifer sidestepped and wrapped her arm around Eliza’s throat from behind and hooked in a Cobra Clutch sleeper tightly. After the previous trauma to her throat and lack of oxygen Eliza was in no state to survive this move for any length of time and her arm went limp quickly this time. And this time it stayed limp on all three checks by the official.

The winner, and new Number #1 Contender for the World Championship after 13.01 minutes is JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT.

Afterwards Jennifer shows her class by just leaving the ring when she could, quite easily have wrought revenge for Eliza’s actions at the previous PPV’s.

*
Backstage World Champion Sarah Michelle Gellar smiles as she watches events from the last match on a monitor. A breathless Alyson Hannigan arrives and they high five.

“Good job Aly, that fat titted cow is a much easier opponent for me next month and anything that pisses Eliza off has to be worthwhile.”

As they laugh and congratulate themselves a black, catsuit clad figure steps into view and waits until the two of them spot her.

“Er excuse me? An opponent for who next month? I do hope you aren’t looking past me Sarah or you are in for a big let down.”

Scarlett Johansson looks amused and angry all at once as she watches Sarah pout and grip a little too hard to her belt. Scarlett just chuckles and turns her back and walks off confidently as Sarah and Alyson stare hateful looks after her.

*
Back in the arena the crowd are watching a video of highlights from last months controversial PPV World Tag Team Championship match that somehow saw Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox retain their titles against the two Jessica’s, Biel and Alba. A cage has been dropped from the ceiling and is being attached to the ring as this video plays for this re-match and as well as for the belts there has been an additional stipulation added to the match in that the losers will be hand cuffed after the match, in the steel cage and the winners can use strap on dildos to fuck the losers to their hearts content. This stipulation as can be guessed has been added by the sexual deviant team of Jolie / Fox but after their strong showing last month Alba / Biel readily agreed to it.

The Jessica’s really should have taken the belts a month ago at Bitch Bash and indeed left the ring with both Megan and Angelina laid out by the time they had won by DQ so this should be a very close title match tonight.

The Jessica’s come out first and march to the cage in matching orange and yellow robes which they reluctantly remove before they step into the caged ring. Another stipulation the champs had demanded was that this, like last month, be a match where all four combatants start completely naked. The crowd cheered and whistled at the sight of Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel standing nude in the cage, they were both fantastically beautiful girls. But their cheers died off as the Champs music hit and down the ramp marches the cocky champs, each with huge ( I mean really obscenely large) strap on black dildo’s jutting out of their crotches at right angles. Megan and Angelina seemed to be way to happy with themselves too, jerking off their fake cocks and pointing them at the Jessica’s as they came to the cage and pretty much implying that these would be what they were using on them after when they won the match. They dropped the belts and strap ons at the ringside table and strutted their sexy bodies into the cage and the outside referee closed and locked it ensuring it would be down to these four beauties to win the match themselves.

The champs threw the challengers off again by Angeline stepped into the ring first and starting the match as it was nearly always Megan that started their matches. Angelina stood centre ring looking imperious and lifted her arms to challenge whoever started for the other team to a test of strength. Jessica Alba slipped through the ropes and faced her as the bell rang. As Jessica lifted her hand to meet her opponents Angelina punted her hard in the gut then wrapped her arms around Jessica’s doubled over mid section and quick as you liked she flipped her up and dropped her in a wicked looking jack-knife powerbomb. The angle was really acute and dangerous looking and Alba’s body doubled up nastily. It looked bad for the Jessica’s to the point that even that early when Jolie covered her foe, Biel rushed in to kick her off.

Angelina wiped her lips with the back of her hand as the referee ushered Biel back out of the ring and she got to her feet, picked up Alba and then delivered a bone shakingly hard Irish whip right into a neutral corner with Jessica Alba crumpling in the corner as she hit home. As Jessica stumbled unsteadily to her feet Angelina neatly hooked her arm over her shoulders and rocked her with a suplex, then rolled through while holding the move to deliver it again then did it a third time leaving Jessica Alba squealing and holding her back in centre ring. She did not get any respite though and Angelina hoisted her up then dropped her down, back first across her knee in a backbreaker manoeuvre and held her there bending her spine uncomfortably across her knee. This was a terrible start for the challengers and it only got worse as Angelina held the move on whilst tagging in Megan, who leapt to the top turnbuckle before measuring then dropping a leg drop across Jessica’s Alba’s body that sent her spinning off Angelina’s knee and Megan covered her for a very close two count.

A cocky Megan lifted her foe by her hair and ran across the ring and went to throw Jessica Alba’s face into the wire mesh wall of the cage. Acting on instinct Alba just managed to get her hands up to block the move and in a flash she reached out, caught Megan by her long hair and propelled her gorgeous face, hard into the mesh. Then she pulled her hand back and did it again before dropping to her knees and desperately crawling across to her corner and tagging in a fired up Miss Biel.

Jessica Biel jumped over the ropes and rushed behind Megan, instantly grabbing her long, dark hair and then slamming Megan’s face repeatedly hard into the wire mesh. After ten such blows Biel adjusted her attack and pressed Megan’s forehead into the wire before rubbing it back and forwards on the cage, using the mesh almost like a cheese grater. And boy did she keep it up, rubbing Megan’s face for near on a minute before finally stopping for a breather. As Miss Fox slumped face first down the cage the camera from outside was able to capture the bloody destruction that had been wrought, Megan Fox’s face was a mess of her own blood, her forehead ripped open by the attacks and she looked absolutely out of it.

Jessica pulled her bloodied foe to her feet then ran across the cage and slammed Megan’s face into the opposite wall of the cage, the repeated the trick back on the original scene of her assault. Biel pushed her head under the bottom rope then pulled it out so she was bent over the top rope and very deliberately raked her finger nails in that cut up forehead while Megan screamed in pain. Then in a move that stunned many of the babyface’s fans Jessica Biel leaned down and bit Megan Fox on her bloody forehead! Boy does she want to win this one badly, but also perhaps one glance at her partner suggests that Miss Biel may need to extreme lengths, because Jessica Alba is lying in their corner and holding her back, that vicious powerbomb at the start of the bout may have really done for her. Angelina Jolie, meanwhile, is impassive as she watches her partner being totally beaten and busted open.

Jessica finally releases Megan from the ropes and drags her to the middle of the ring and proceeds to nail her with a DDT that spikes Megan’s bloody forehead into the canvas. ONE…TWO…THR….NO!!

From nowhere Megan Fox managed to throw up her arm to break the count much to Biel’s obvious frustration. Angered she moved to drag Megan up again and as Megan rose she managed to fire a punch up between Jessica’s legs that stunned her enough to break the hold on her hair and stagger Jessica back to the ropes. That gave Megan just enough space to crawl and stagger to Angelina and just as she made it and reached out to tag Angelina Jessica rushed over and jumped on her back to try and prevent her. But the tag was made, Jessica was on Megan’s back and had her facing back to centre ring and Angelina entered and stood on the middle turnbuckle. She reached over and used Jessica’s hair to drag her back towards her and then in a mighty feat of strength pulled Jessica Biel off Megan’s back and hoisted her up and turned her around in midair. The end result as Megan fell forward onto her face was that Jessica Biel was being held upside down in Angelina’s Jolie’s grasp and as Angelina moved her thighs to either side of Jessica’s head it was suddenly clear what was about to happen. Angie stepped off the ropes and dropped vertically down, plunging Jessica’s head into the canvas from a horrible height. The crowd gasped at witnessing a Tombstone Piledriver from the second turnbuckle and held their breath as they watches Jessica’s Biel’s limp body twitch weakly in the ring.

From there it was ease itself for Angelina Jolie to stand one foot on Jessica Biels chest and order the ref to count to three. In truth she could have counted to a hundred, both Jessica’s were fucked and now they were about to be fucked in an all together different way.

The winners in 7:01 and still World Tag Team Champions are ANGELINA JOLIE & MEGAN FOX.

As per the stipulations the winners exit the cage, collect their handcuffs and dildos and then re –enter it, this time with no referee. Neither Alba nor Biel can muster much efforts that prevent their arms being handcuffed behind their back and it is only as they are both dragged to the middle of the ring and forced to watch their opponents put their massive strap ons back on around their crotches that they begin to realise the terrible fate that awaits them. There is nothing they can do though and after a while teasing them Megan takes Biel and Angelina takes Alba and the two of them ass fuck them with those huge dildos, then they swap and choke them on them, fresh from their partner’s assholes! By the end the champs leave ( bloodied Megan Fox and a hardly sweating Angelina Jolie) grab their belts and head backstage celebrating a big win. The Jessica’s are in a terrible state though, beaten, battered and humiliated it will be a long road back for them.

*

Backstage Carmen Electra is interviewing a tired but satisfied Jennifer Love Hewitt. Jen is wrapped in a towel and fresh from a shower and looks as sexy as hell and her voice is giddy with excitement.

“I’m delighted Carmen. I told the world that I would get my revenge and I got it. That bitch tried to make me quit and I wouldn’t even when she tortured me I did not give up. That is how badly I want this thing, I want to be World Champion. I should have been at Bitchmania but Eliza cost me then, well she’s paid the price now and I am on the way back to the summit, whichever slut leaves here tonight with the belt I will be coming after them and you can be sure they will get smothered out too!”

JLH breaks off as someone comes into her sight off camera, it is a clearly angry and crazed Jennifer Aniston.

”Oh will you please shut the hell up Juggs! There’s only one Jennifer the fans need to hear from at this time and that’s me! Who the hell cares what you’ll be doing at the next Pay Per View, because all eyes will be on me when I totally destroy that bitch Courteney Cox and make her regret the day she ever stabbed me in the back!”

Jennifer Love Hewitt looked angry to begin with but by the end of Aniston’s rant she was almost laughing at her and the scene faded to black with JLH scoffing and Aniston scowling.

*

Back to the arena and Cameron Diaz is descending the entrance ramp to a volley of boos, she’s accompanied by a business suited Sharon Stone. The tall figure of Cameron is wearing a one piece, bright white swimsuit and she looks supremely confident. The camera pans back to the top of the ramp and out comes Rihanna to a large cheer, she’s clearly a fan favourite after her shitty treatment from the blonde racists and she looks all business in a silver chain mail style bikini .As she comes down the ramp the camera on the big screen shows the backstage are where Beyonce knocks on a dressing room door and opens it to find Nicole Sherzinger laid out unconscious on the floor, she screams for assistance and eventually some medics appear and there is a large crowd around the prone girl.

Back to the ring

Of course Rihanna, was oblivious to her colleagues misfortunes, intent as she was on staring daggers at her opponent for the night. Cameron treated her to a contemptuous smirk and when Rihanna pushed towards her mouthing off the tall blonde spat her chewing gum out into the black singer’s hair! That infuriated Rihanna and she shoved past the referee and started swinging punches at her opponent while Cameron covered up and backed away. Exasperated, the referee signalled for the bell and this match was underway.

Rihanna was firing in punches and slaps and chops like there was no tomorrow, the anger at her foe clear for all to see. She backed Cameron into the corner and started to lash in knife edge chops as the crowd cheered her on. After finally tiring of that Rihanna grabbed Cameron’s wrist and Irish whipped her out of that corner and flung her at great velocity onto the opposing corner turnbuckle then followed in with a jumping forearm smash to the reeling blonde’s jaw. She then hooked Cameron’s head and leapt out into the centre of the ring and nailed her with a bulldog headlock that garnered the first two count of the contest.

Cameron’s kick out was followed by the leggy actress rolling under the ropes and consulting with Sharon Stone at ringside. As Rihanna leaned over the top rope and snarled at them a buzz went through the arena as three figures emerged at the top of the ramp and slowly strutted down it – Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman and Gwyneth Paltrow. They continued down and each stood at a side of the ring with Sharon Stone at the final one as Cameron rolled back in with a now distracted (and concerned) Rihanna. Beyonce had left in the ambulance with the knocked out Nicole Sherzinger so from Rihanna’s group there was only her left in the building and it would appear that the racist blondes have added new members to their crew.

Still Rihanna was in no mood to give up and charged at Cameron Diaz as she re-entered the ring. Cameron caught her though then fell back and dropped Rihanna’s throat across the top rope in a hot shot like manoeuvre. With her foe flapping like a fish out of water Cameron smirked as she reached down, dragged her to her knees by her short dark hair them slammed a hard forearm across her back to force Rihanna back down on her hands and knees. From there Cameron jumped on her back and fish hooked her mouth with her fingers and pulled back hard like a camel clutch all the while staring at the sneering form of Sharon Stone outside the ring.

“Finish the bitch Cammy, we need to get on before any of her little friends get back!” demanded Charlize from outside the ring.

Cameron increased the pressure for a moment but then did what her partner demanded and released the hold and reached down to grab Rihanna’s hair and go to pull her up by it. In a flash the black singer tripped and wrapped her legs around Cameron’s as she fell forward and rolled onto her back. It was a textbook small package and it shocked everybody but the referee who dropped to his knees and counted as Rihanna held on for dear life. ONE… TWO… THREE!!!

The crowd exploded at the shock quick finish. The winner after 2:34 is RIHANNA but as she raises her arm Cameron Diaz levels her with a vicious clothesline and the other four blondes slide into the ring and surround the downed singer.

What follows is five minutes of brutal 5 on 1 destruction as Cameron Diaz, Charlize Theron, Sharon Stone, Gwyneth Paltrow and Nicole Kidman perform move after move on the helpless Rihanna, leaving her lifeless. Then they drag her beaten, stripped form up the ramp where Sharon and Nicole disappear for a moment and return pushing a large barrel which has a thick, black substance inside it – tar! Charlize and Cameron then hoist Rihanna up and slowly drop her head first into the thick, black tar by her feet and by the time the pull her up she is covered head to toe in it. Gwyneth attaches a large chain around Rihanna’s neck as she falls to her hands and knees and the others then empty bags of chicken feathers out over her.

My god! Rihanna has been tarred and feathered on live PPV! But her hellish night is not over yet! The blondes drag her out of the building on her knees by the chain and lead her over to a tree outside the building where Sharon tosses a noosed rope over a branch and the five bitches slip the noose over Rihanna’s neck and then all five grab the rope and start to pull with all their might. The terrible sight of a tarred and feather Rihanna being hoisted into the night sky until her feet no longer touch the grass and she’s being hung!! Thankfully security appear then and get the rope off the blondes and lower the out of it Rihanna to the ground as medical staff race in too. The scene closes with the five blondes raising their arms in the parking lot as the crowd howls and boos it’s disapproval.

*

The whole show seems in a state of shock after what just happened. The crowd are in a stunned silence and no one seems to know what to do when a bouncy Latin theme blares out over the speakers and fills the arena. In the ring newest interviewer Selma Blair waits for her interviewee.

Bursting through the curtain with a beaming smile and looking like sex on legs is Jennifer Lopez, but she knows how hot she is and even on her debut appearance in the Federation a majority of the audience hate how cocky and arrogant she comes across as. Slowly a chorus of boos builds up as J-Lo hits the ring and shows off her amazing ass as she enters. Once in the rings she notices the boos and frowns and marchs up to Selma and grabs the microphone from her waiting hand.

“OMG! I mean what the hell? Who do you people think you are? Stop it! I’m the star here.”

“Well you’re a star Jennifer, but you’ve got a lot to prove before you’re the star here.”

Lopez recoils at Selma’s words as if she hadn’t noticed her before now. And in a flash reacts by levelling the pixie haired brunette with a vicious clothesline that sends her flying to the canvas. The crowd aren’t happy at such a sneaky attack on an unsuspecting interviewer and voice their disapproval as Jennifer wiggles her arse and carefully places it (encased in gold bikini bottoms) directly over Selma’s face. As her backside engulfs Selma’s face Selma’s arms flail for a bit then fall limply to her sides as Jennifer Lopez lifts the microphone to her mouth again.

“Like I said, I am The Star, The Diva and all you dumb bitches in this Federation better start learning that your proper place is under my ass!”

*

So after a night of extreme carnage and violence there’s just one match left, the battle for the World Championship title. First to the ring is the challenger Scarlett Johansson, her hair is red and curly and she’s bedecked in the slinky, black catsuit she wore as The Black Widow in Avengers. The crowd are pleased to have a favourite out front after the antics by the heels in the last ten minutes or so and she gets a rousing reaction as she enters the ring, it would surely make a good end to the PPV if she could be crowned the new World champion. The champ appears next to the old Buffy The Vampire Slayer TV show theme tune and Sarah looks very nice in a red, leather catsuit. Alyson Hannigan comes out with her and gives her and hug for luck before they make their way down the ramp towards the ring. Sarah looks all business but then so too does the challenger.
With both in the ring the referee brings them together, accepts the championship belt from Sarah and hold sit aloft then runs down the rules. But as he’s doing that an excited looking Carmen Electra skips to ringside and calls the referee over to her and whispers something to him then holds the microphone up to her pouting mouth and makes an announcement while the two fighters glare at this interruption.

“Our new owner has decreed that the participants in this Championship match will be banned from wearing catsuits for the duration of this match. You will both take them off and fight in whatever, if anything, you are wearing beneath them!”

The crowd like that decree and roar their approval as both fighters complain to both Carmen and the referee. But in the end their complaints are not worth much, even the World Champion Sarah Michelle Gellar who is particularly indignant at this turn of events. But she, like Scarlett has to take off her leather catsuit and once they are both off it leaves Scarlett in a classy, white pair of lace panties and Sarah in a fairly skanky black G-string. Which starts the crowd off on a “she’s a crack whore~ chant directed at Miss Gellar.

Sarah fumes as the crowd chant gets louder and the blonde stamps her feet and demands they stop but as she turns to remonstrate with the other side of the arena Scarlett charges at her and sends her flying over the top rope on the end of a running clothesline and with that the bell rings and we’re underway.

There was a huge cheer as Sarah crashed over the ropes and landed with a heavy thud on then concrete floor. She tried to get up too quickly and ended up falling comically against the crowd rail. She shook her head and tried to regain her senses quickly but too late as Scarlett had grabbed the top rope and used it to lever her body up and over them and nailed the champ with a high impact plancha dive over the rope that flattened Sarah against the rail. The crowd was delighted with this fast start to the action and got even louder as Scarlett hauled Sarah to her feet by her long hair then Irish whipped her across the ringside area until she crashed face first into the outside of the corner pole, sending her flying to the side and lying at the bottom of the entrance ramp.

Scarlett took a moment to soak in her cheers before marching over to her downed foe but the champ wasn’t going to be overcome quite so easily. As Scarlett stood over her and reached down to tug her up Sarah snapped out one of her deadly legs and kicked the challenger hard in the thigh. As Scarlett recoiled the champ limped to her feet and with a growl marched forward and nailed a second then a third hard kick to the thigh before burying a knee right in Scarlett’s gut then tossing her back into the rring under the bottom rope. The Slayer had a ferocious look on her face after her slow start to this contest and looked like she really meant business now. She followed Scarlett into the ring and delivered brutal series of stamps and stomps all over the challengers body before finally leaping up in the air and crashing down with her knee right across Scarlett’s copious cleavage. Keeping her weight on the challenger Sarah slid her knee forward until her shin was covering Scarlett’s windpipe and as she ground and pressed down on it she allowed herself a faint, cruel smile at the her.

“Not so fucking lively now, are you dear?” and with those words she reached behind her to snag her hand into the band of Scarlett’s panties and with a growl she pulled up on them with all her might making the thin fabric dig nastily into her pussy.

In a way that backfired for Sarah though as Scarlett bucked up at the intense pain in her cunt and threw the champion’s knee off of her and sending Sarah tumbling to the mat beside her. But Sarah was still in complete control of the match and measured then dropped a legdrop right across Scarlett’s throat and followed with a cover for a two count. Lifting her opponent by her curly hair Sarah stood back to back with her, reached back, hooked Scarlett’s chin the dropped down brutally nailing her challenger with a neck breaker that again elicited a close two count.

“You’re starting to get real irritating bitch!” snarled SMG as she picked Scarlett up by the hair again and hooked her arm around her head in preparation for dropping her with a DDT.

Sensing that her neck was not up to absorbing another high impact move at that point Scarlett somehow found the reserves of strength to plant her feet than shove forward and ram Sarah’s spine right into the corner turnbuckle to block the DDT. Scarlett jammed her shoulder again into Sarah’s mid section but that hurt her shoulder too so she quickly laid off that mode of attack. Instead she pulled back and then thrust a knee into the Champion’s gut, than another and then a third, leaving the long haired blonde gasping in the corner. Suddenly Scarlett pulled Sarah’s head between her standing thighs, hooked her arms behind her back and leapt backwards, driving SMG’s face into the mat with a perfect Pedigree.

Scarlett rolled her stunned foe over onto her back and pressed her boobs against Sarah’s as she held her arms down and garnered a extremely close two count that had most in the crowd thinking they had seen a title change. Still Scarlett Johansson was not to be deterred nowshe had the momentum and slid up and over to straddle the champ’s waist before lifting up Sarah’s head and pulling her face into Scarlett’s copious cleavage going for the much vaunted ‘Scarlett Smother’. This would be a horrible humiliation for Sarah Michelle Gellar and once she realises her position she struggles like all hell to get loose, but laying flat on her back she has very little leverage to prise herself free. However, her struggles are just enough to free her face for a moment and that’s all she needs to open her mouth and snap her teeth together, neatly catching Scarlett’s right nipple in her jaws!

What a visual that made, as Scarlett reared back at the sudden, sharp pain in her tit. As she leaned back to try and escape it Sarah’s teeth held on and her head came up looking like a vicious piranha unwilling to release its victim. It took Scarlett firing a knee between Sarah’s thighs to force her to release her hold and while Sarah groaned and cupped her injured pussy Scarlett cried out as she felt her tender tit. Scarlett was first to forget her pain and she strode forward, and taking a leaf from her opponents book launched a hard kick to Sarah’s exposed ribs and snarled and angry remark.

“Dirty fucking bitch, you want to fight dirty then I can do that too!”

And to prove the point she grabbed Sarah by her ankles and spread them as wide as she could before measuring a couple of ruthless stamps to Sarah’s exposed crotch. Then with a primal scream Scarlett jumped up and drove a headbutt right to her opponent’s cunt. She got up then leaned forward folding Sarah in half for a body press cover but somehow the champ rolled free on two and three quarters again.

Scarlett took a moment to deliberately cool down after the initial anger of the tit bit had subsided. She knew she need to remain focused and professional to win the title. She lifted Sarah up by her hair then hooked her arm around Sarah’s head then moved towards the corner and leaped up to get extra propulsion for her jumping Bulldog headlock. But Sarah countered by pushing up at the point that Scarlett was off her feet and instead of her feet bouncing off the turnbuckle they overshot it and she landed hard, crotching herself on the top turnbuckle’s metal wire that connected turnbuckle to post.

Sarah took a moment to recover but once she realised her opponent’s position knew exactly how to take advantage. She walked backwards to stand on the bottom rope and reached behind her to hook Scarlett’s head and then once she had her in position leaped forward to deliver a crushing neckbreaker with Scarlett taking the hellacious bump from up on the top turnbuckle!

ONE…TWO…THR..NO!!

Quite unbelievably Scarlett Johansson kicked out just before the referee’s hand dropped for the three count. Sarah and most of the crowd couldn’t believe that but The Slayer quickly overcame her shock and carefully moved behind her foe and locked on a painful looking Dragon Sleeper hold and really synched it in and demanded the ref check Scarlett to see if she was out after just thirty seconds in the hold. He stood to the side and behind and lifted Scarlett’s arm once, then twice and as it dropped for the third time somehow the Black Widow actress found enough energy to drive her legs backwards and shove back sandwiching Sarah and the referee between her and the turnbuckle. The ref dropped to the ground but Sarah was fairly well protected and as Scarlett staggered out of the corner the champ hooked her hands into her panties and pulled them down causing Scarlett to fall flat on her pretty face. Then quick as a flash Sarah hooked the panties over Scarlett’s head and choked her with them, leaning on top while viciously pulling the fabric into the challenger’s throat, the cameras watching as Scarlett’s face turned to the colour of her name. Finally, Sarah sensed the referee recovering his senses and, not wanting a DQ loss, she removed the makeshift garrotte and balled the panties up and shoved them into Scarlett’s gasping mouth. Then she leaned her against the ropes and absolutely nailed Scarlett on the point of her chin with a picture perfect superkick that dropped the challenger like a sack of potatoes. Sarah could have had the cover there and then and everyone knew it but with Scarlett’s head lolling over the bottom rope Sarah couldn’t resist putting an exclamation mark on her victory. She casually stepped through the ropes, took a step back on the apron before advancing forward and delivering a wicked punt right to Scarlett’s jaw that sent the actress spinning over on the rope and very clearly knocked out cold!

After that is was simple for Sarah to step back in the ring, drag Scarlett’s carcass off the ropes and lay her in the centre of the ring, spread eagled and nude and then for Sarah to cover her in as humiliating a fashion as possible – she placed her bare right foot over Scarlett’s face, her big toe and next one in pinching Scarlett’s nostrils shut and demanded the ref make the count.

It was a formality and in 13:43 the winner and still World Champion is SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR. Sarah’s not quite done though and she pulls her own panties to one side and squats down over her vanquished challenger and then proceeds to piss all over Scarlett Johansson’s face on Live PPV! She’s obviously looking to send a strong message to all her challengers and particularly her next one, Jennifer Love Hewitt at next month’s WHOREMAGGEDDON!

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And that full card for WHOREMAGGEDON shapes up over the next few weeks…

Emma Watson v. Sarah Hyland ( ladder match, loser locked for 24 hours with convicted sex offenders)
Britney Spears / Miley Cyrus v. Mila Kunis / Katie Holmes v. Elizabeth Hurley / Keira Knightley v. Jessica Biel / Jessica Alba
Sofia Vergara v. Julie Bowen
Jennifer Lopez v. Selma Blair – confrontation between Sofia and Jlo to set up match
Angelina Jolie / Megan Fox v. Charlize Theron / Cameron Diaz – darkies kidnaps Sharon Stone and destroy her to set up War Games match
Eliza Dushku v. Alison Hannigan
Jennifer Aniston v. Courteney Cox – NO DQ, No # 1 Contenders match
Jennifer Love Hewitt v. Sarah Michelle Gellar