By T. Trolley

Many have heard about apartment wrestling where two females do battle in that
setting. But few have heard of condo wrestling, which is very similar to
apartment wrestling in that the space the women fight in is about the same and the
tactics used by the women are similar in that the surroundings are almost
identical.

But, be it an apartment or a condo or a ring, a professional lady wrestler is
a professional lady wrestler. She'll approach her fight and use the same
holds in the same way, no matter where it's at.

I found that out when my wife Janis, the spitting image of Pauline Collins
who starred in the movie "Shirly Valentine," ended up wrestling the famous
Sherri, the longtime WWF/ECW/WCW star, in a condo match.

It all started innocently enough. My wife challenged Sherri to an
armwrestling match on the floor of Janis's condo a few hours after Sherri wrestled a
match in the Gulf Coast Civic Center. My wife thought Sherri was one big fake and
believed that she was stronger than Sherri. Sherri said it wasn't true, so my
wife issued the challenge -- certain of victory!

I didn't think much of it, but when the two put their arms up on the table, I
suddenly recognized there was a surprising amount of intensity between the
two women as the two glared at each other, as though they were trying to
intimidate their opponent!

So when the two began to armwrestle, I watched intently. My wife later
recalled the armwrestling encounter in these words: "She was really strong ... so
strong ..."

Slowly, Sherri began to win the match over my wife! Janis tried and tried,
wincing and grunting in effort, but Sherri was just too strong for her and
slowly took her down!

My wife knew that Sherri was humiliating her! She looked up at me and saw the
look on my face and groaned loudly, realizing that I was about to watch her
get embarrassed by another woman!

Sherri just about had my wife tucked away and beaten when, in a desperate
move, my wife tried to get out of the predicament by rolling over and scissoring
Sherri's leg!

But Sherri suddenly countered and twisted Janis's arm behind her back in a
hammerlock! Now the match had turned from armwrestling to wrestling!

Of course, many would say that would be playing right into Sherri's hands
since Sherri was a professional. But the matches Sherri had wrestled as a pro
were all choreographed and Janis was betting that Sherri wouldn't be able to
wrestle a real match that wasn't scripted!

To my surprise, the two women began to roll around the condo, wrestling! They
were locked in beahugs and slowly got to their feet in the same position!

But the bearhug hold was a professional wrestling move and Sherri knew
exactly how to administer the hold! Thus, her bearhug was way too much for my wife!

I watched as Sherri squeezed and crushed my wife in the bearhug! Sherri was
seeming entirely focused on arm strength and held her in that bearhug without
moving to another hold!

Then, still holding my wife in the bearhug, Sherri bulled forward and rammed
the back of Janis into a mirror in the condo!

The glass didn't break, but I thought my wife's back would as now Sherri
REALLY squeezed Janis in that bearhug! It was now clear that Sherri was trying to
get my wife to submit to that bearhug of hers to prove to both Janis and
herself that she could beat my wife and make her give up with the most basic of
professional wrestling holds!

"Wow, she was really strong!" recalled my wife later on after the match when
she talked about being trapped in the bearhug of Sherri! Sherri literally
crushed my wife with her arms and suddenly, Janis began to tremble and shake in
the hold due to the unbelieveable pressure and power that Sherri was applying!
The shaking Janis began to look around and look for a way out!

Desperately, Janis brought her knee up as she desperately thought, "I've got
to get out of this!" as she began to feel the pressure of Sherri's powerful
hold crush both her back and ribs!

Janis managed to push Sherri away, using her knee to wedge in between their
two bodies! Sherri fell back onto the couch in the condo! Janis went after her
and the two began to wrestle on the couch!

But unfortunately for my wife, Sherri was just way, way too much woman for
Janis. Sherri got behind Janis and applied another debilitating hold that
quickly slowed my wife down -- the cobra clutch!

The hold quickly began to have its effect on Janis as my wife fell face first
onto the floor with Sherri atop her back! Then, Sherri twisted around and
applied the most vicious Boston Crab I had ever seen on my wife! Sherri was
leaning way, way back and almost had Janis bent in two with that Boston Crab!

Sherri now had my wife in complete control and was proving the effectiveness
of professional wrestling holds! "She really was hurting my back with that
hold!" recalled Janis!

Sherri, after having worn my wife down to the point of submission, suddenly
released the hold and put her in a headlock. I knew Sherri had something
planned for my wife when she pulled her up, then reversed the headlock -- and
suddenly fell down with her, dropping her in a DDT!

The move shocked me! My wife's forehead hit the floor hard and I knew she
might have been knocked out! But Sherri didn't waste any time. She wrapped her
arms and legs around Janis and then squeezed her like an octopus! My wife tried
to counter with the same move, but in her condition there was no way she was
going to match the power of Sherri!

Sherri then pulled the weakened Janis to her feet! My wife was obviously
tipsy and woozy after going through the Sherri buzz saw! Sherri then smiled,
knowing she had my wife completely under control! She then picked my wife up and
slammed her down in a body slam!

"Uhhh!" grunted my wife as her back hit the floor hard! Sherri just kept
repeating the move, picking up my wife and slamming her down! She ended up body
slamming Janis seven times, leaving my wife lying on the floor of her own condo
-- spreadeagled and waiting for Sherri to finish her off!

Sherri suddenly moved back into the bedroom of the condo and then ran out
like a screaming banshee -- yelling the way only Sherri can yell!

Sherri suddenly lept into the air and came down with her full body weight
across my wife's chest and stomach! What an unbelieveable flying body splash!

"Ohhhh ..." groaned my wife as her body convulsed on impact! I knew that
Sherri's flying body press had snuffed out my wife!

Sherri just lay atop my wife as though she were pinning her! Janis tried to
get up but couldn't! I watched my wife wriggle and writhe futilely on the floor
beneath Sherri!

Finally, my wife stopped struggling! With Sherri plastered atop my wife
across her chest in perfect pinning position, my battered wife gasped, "OK, Sherri.
I submit to you! You win!"

Sherri smiled atop Janis when she heard my wife give up! "Another one bites
the dust!" shouted Sherri! She got off of my wife and looked down at her as she
raised her arm in victory!

I watched as Sherri left the condo. I then looked at my wife, who had been
physically destroyed by Sherri! She looked up at me and reached for me!"

I got down with her and said, "Honey, don't move. Sherri really beat you up!
Are you sure you don't have any broken bones?" My wife simply sobbed in
response out of both pain and humiliation.