Celebrity Wrestling

Night 3, Match 4

In Ali Larter's dressing room, Shannon Elizabeth (who's visiting her partner who was the victim of a brutal beating in the night's first match) is up on her feet. She had been yelling at the TV, as if the people on it could hear her. She was astonished at the display that Jessica Simpson had put on. Having been defeated fairly with a pin in the middle of the ring, she assaulted her foe, Jessica Alba. Shannon was angry at the lack of respect and the cruelty with which Simpson attacked her unsuspecting opponent. She could understand the anger at losing and not gaining any points, but the attack went beyond the call. Realizing that Ali was sleeping, though, Shannon regained control of herself and turned to look at her partner. Ali was awake. “Sorry if I woke you up,” she said softly.

“I actually watched the last few minutes of the fight and the fit Jessica through. How'd you do in your fight?”

“I won. I dominated that tramp and then she submitted while I was putting her to sleep and avoided giving me my 10 points for the pin. It was stupid to put her in a hold like that, though. How are you feeling? Anything I can do?”

“The trainer was in here for a while, working on my back, mostly. Right now I just want to go home and rest. That bitch is evil. I should be fine by Saturday, though. Thank God I don't have a Friday match.”

As she finished what she was saying, they both heard some yelling and screaming from the hall outside. Shannon poked her head out and saw Jessica Alba yelling into the dressing room next to Ali's. As she started out of the room, she saw Eliza Dushku coming down the hall. Eliza was intently staring at Alba and didn't notice Shannon. As she approached, she got behind Jessica and tackled her into the dressing room.

“Call security,” she told her partner as she headed towards the open door. As she got to the doorway, she could see Dushku on the ground holding Alba in a half-nelson, both on their left sides. Jessica Simpson was standing above them, stomping Alba's right breast, ribs and gut mercilessly. Shannon started to speak, prompting Simpson to slam the door in her face. She stood outside the room and shouted in, “I've called security. Leave her alone.”

She reopened the door just in time to watch as Simpson, now holding Alba's ankles, stomped on her crotch while Dushku gripped her in a full nelson. As Simpson raised her foot for another stomp, Shannon dove across the room, tackling her over a recliner and to the floor. “This is bullshit, Jessica,” she said as she got up off of the beautiful blonde. “Your match is over. Why are you still trying to hurt her?” As she spoke, she stepped around the recliner to see Dushku now had Alba still in the full nelson, but had turned her face down, straddled her back, and used the hold to wrench her torso off the floor. Alba wasn't even protesting anymore. She just moaned in pain. “Cut it out,” Shannon said as she tried to pry Dushku off of her prey. Just then, Simpson slammed her into the wall, pushing her away from her partner.

“You really should learn to mind your own business, bitch,” she said as she drew her fist back. Just in time, though, security entered the room to break the melee up.

In the ring, Kelly Monaco dances in her corner, set to face off against Rachel Bilson. Kelly has on an orange one-piece that clings tightly to her body. While she looks absolutely stunning in it, she's wearing it to cover the trainer's tape that she's wearing on her right rib-cage. She's still a little worse for wear after taking the pounding Christina Aguilera gave her ribs. She was able to win the match, but it came at a hefty price. Bilson awaits the start in her corner wearing a pink string-bikini. Her first match was no picnic, with Brittney Spears having beat on her and then putting her down in a sleeper hold. As fabulous as Rachel looks, she's still way too soft for this tournament and the difference between her physical condition and Kelly's is easy to see.

At the start, Kelly bounces out of her corner, eager to take the battle to her young, soft foe. She quickly heads towards Rachel, who starts to try and move away, but too late. Kelly grabs a handful of Rachel's black hair and drags her into a side head-lock. She backs both of them into the corner and starts to run across the ring, dragging Rachel with her. As she passes the center, she leaps, landing Rachel on her face in a well-executed bull-dog. Rachel puts both hands to her face and rolls to her side. Kelly sits behind her, places her white boots against the small of Rachel's back, grabs her left leg and right wrist and bends her backwards in a bow-and-arrow hold, instantly shooting pain through Rachel's back. Quickly, the first submission is issued and Kelly releases the hold.

Kelly realizes that her pitiful foe is way out of her league here. At the restart, she rolls Rachel over to her stomach, steps over her and places her in a camel clutch, drawing no opposition. Again, Rachel is quick to submit. Kelly releases the hold and turns, facing Rachel's feet. At the restart, she grabs Rachel's ankles and puts her in a Boston Crab. Another quick submission comes and Kelly releases the hold looking bored. She steps around to Rachel's feet and at the restart, folds her legs back and puts her in a surf-board hold. After Rachel quickly issues her fourth submission, Kelly yanks back further on the hold. As Rachel screams, Kelly tells her to have some respect for herself. She says to her that if she doesn't take this more seriously, some of the girls are really going to hurt her. The ref reaches 4 and Kelly releases.

Rachel moves to a seated position and at the restart, Kelly sits behind her and places her in a sleeper and traps her in a leg-scissors. Rachel submits a fifth time and Kelly again continues the hold. “You are so lucky my ribs are still sore. I just want to get this match over,” Kelly says as Rachel starts to drift to sleep. Kelly releases as the ref counts 4. “As mad as I am right now, you wouldn't just be submitting, you'd be begging me to leave you alone. I'd make you offer to do things you've probably never thought of if I'd just stop. Unfortunately for you, some one will come along and you'll wish you were more serious about this.”

“I want to be more serious,” a half-asleep Rachel replies. “I didn't know what this was going to be like. I thought it would be fake. You know, pillow fights and stuff. Really sexy for the crowd and all.”

“This crowd enjoys the fight. It is sexy for them. It'll be sexier when you get in the ring with some one like Victoria. I bet the ref has to stop that match for you.”

While the conversation continues, the ref restarts and Kelly gets Rachel to her feet, lifts her and body slams her in the center of the ring. She rolls her legs over her head, pinning her and sits on Rachel's thighs looking down at her ass as it sticks in the air. The ref counts three and Kelly starts to spank her defeated opponent. Rachel screams as the ref admonishes Kelly and she continues the humiliation. “This is for getting into the ring with the big girls, Rachel,” Kelly tells her. “Mommy should have done this a long time ago.”

The ref finally gets Kelly off and she heads back to the dressing rooms, 15 points in hand.

Back in Jessica Simpson's dressing room, security is working out the details of what happened there. One of the Directors comes down to check and see what's up. After much argument, Jessica Alba is helped to her dressing room by Shannon Elizabeth. No sanctions are issued as, technically, the incident occurred in Jessica Simpson's room and she would be the “offended party” if a complaint was issued. Alba had wanted her bikini top back, but even after the abuse and the meeting, she left empty-handed with Dushku and Simpson laughing at her as she left.